Saturday, January 29, 2005

Kya Punch Mara

Maaaan this has gotto be the most memorable day at work.
Heres why.

At 4:00 on this sleepy lazy saturday afternoon, our brilliant techie came up with a sleezy idea:

Hi guys,
We are looking out for a punch line to be included on the T-shirt, so please mail me the punch lines (I know it is saturday but I think you can rake up your grey cells for some time). Winner will be decided by our panel of judges, their decision will be final.

And man did we rake:

Here are the gems-

"Non-profit T-SHIRTS from not-for-profit organization "

"Life is Beautiful"
So is our t-shirt

"Copy followed by paste"

"IOB A lean mean Database minting machine"
"Food (coupons) after starvation"

"I am so broke I can't even pay attention!!!!!!!"

"Problem with simple things is they are difficult to understand."

"We The Annotators"
"We The Reviewers"

IOB: Kal ho naho
IOB: Kya kaheyn
IOB: Kuch nahi hota hai
IOB: Kyun Lag gai naa

"Only place where u find "MANUAL AUTOMATION"

"WE LOOK INTO YOUR JEANS" (no comments)

"We redo things"

"We control and C, we control and P"

"IOB: I Own Bioinformatics"

"We spill the beans 'bout your genes."

"IOB.... A lean, mean GENE machine !!"

'Way to permanent head damage.......PhD

"IOBIAN: Irritation Of Bum In A Nutshell"
"Idiots Observing Biology In A Nutshell."
"Indians Observing Biology In Akhilesh's Nest"
(Akhilesh is our boss)

"Genetics for fanatics"

"Genes for Jeans"

"Genetic imprints for the really slow'

"Biology bytes, computer bites"

'Investing in biology...shows doesn't it!'

"Science till you are senseless."

"Unzipping the DNA of life"

"If u understand this, ........ please explain"

"The creator,preserver and destroyer........All found here"

"Paying it wont stay here anyways!"

"Science for life, but not for livelihood"

"Annotate, review and reannotate"

"Please bear with our work"

"Annotating jhad ke piche!!!"

"Understanding biology : our never ending Odyssey"

"We redo things"

"Uncorking life's bottle of Genie, the Genes !" (what was he thinking??)

And finally a sad caption won-
'Crackin the code of Life'

OK guys in the future if I ever turn violent, blame it on this caption!!

Friday, January 28, 2005

Salwar Saga

A week dedicated to my salwars (and kameezas, dupattas, chudis, suits, chun... okay u got the point), the indian (??) answer to the international cloth shortage (pun intended)!

After some deliberation and dreamless nights, the sight of rotting salwars in my cupboard motivated me to dedicate an 'entire' week to them. So here I am waking up an entire half hour early, just to do that one thing all the decision challenged women supposedly do every morning, morning after morning, all around the world- Stare at their wardrobe in quiet adoration and utter confusion!!
And after I make the mind numbing decision of what goes with what and where,there comes the arduous task of 'ironing' them.
I'd rather prefer nailing my clothes to the wall, eternally creasefree u see!!
I have always had this aversion to ironing clothes, have been doing it all my life though. Is it that heavy ironbox? Or is it that creased cloth? Or is it that electric shock (grr...thanks for ur wiring dad!!)
Anyway when they invented Creasefree, I threw a huge treat, for myself, at Leela.

And thats not all, then comes the assortment of ear rings and bangles and sandles (gawd) and bindis and scrunchies and pins and I forgot the rest!

You might ask, being a woman why am I making a big deal of this??
Thats because i'm one of those rare (but now getting quite common) creatures, who if u seemed to pass by someday and saw me in a salwar suit, would faint in disbelief!!
Got the picture?

My life was blissful until the last week.
[flashback] Wake up half hour before my office bus could leave.
Do the needful in the needful rooms.
Then pull out the first jean's and t-shirt, which is at my nearest reach (wear them) and run (perverts!!) for the bus.

[sigh] Those days.

Well your next question would be if ur comfortable in them. then stick to jeans??
But my dear friend if u live in the 'real' world and not the set of Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, family pressure, peer pressure, cultural pressure and national pressure would be the words you'd be familiar with!!
And moreover nobody likes to be stereotyped, so here i'm stepping into the brave new world of metres of flowing cloth tucked, hemmed, embroidered, printed and starched, with a million different neck lines, most of them looking like something I would never write about. (My cousin and I have such a ball looking at these designs)

I'm not against salwars or for that matter, even sarees but, the extreme amount of care which goes into wearing them and the feminine grace and charm I'm supposed to ooze when I'm in them whether in rain, snow, sultry sun or climbing a mountain bare feet- thats where my problem starts!
Now, not all our lives are a car to carpet tale, are they?
Firstly I have to squeeze thyself in the cramped gaps of the so called public transport vehicle in my ironed salwar kameez, then do some acrobatics and ballet and hang on to the rod with just the toes on the ground!!
Then slap and yell at a few worthless souls and wake a few shameless oration champions from the ladies seat.
Then achieve the herculean task of getting out at the right stop, with the bus still stationary and then pull out my limbs, bag, dupatta, sandals (both mine), wig, etc etc

There goes my grace and charm!!

Now lemme talk about jeans and shirts...wah wah.
A Symbol of comfort, durablility, ease and fexibility.
(Keep the tight fits, embroidered and ones made up of rags and costing a bomb thingie- out of this list!)
I am hosting a shawl giving, garland putting, long speechy, lamp lighting types ceremony for that guy/gal who ever invented them.

Talking about tight fits, I have a few ultra-basic questions-
*How do u guys/gals get into them??
Do u wear them when u were the leanest and never take em off??
*Do u guys ever bend, stretch, climb, bow or even sit in them?
Call me I'd like to watch u all
*At the end of the day, how do get out of it?
U do right?

Ok back to my 'comfort fit' jeans
Climb a wall, kick a guy where u aim, ride a bike, squat, sleep or just chumma sitma.....they are all purpose, i say!!
My romance with T's and Jeans has been life long, i hope to keep it that way
My life long dream is to have a crime fighting elite team in purple- jeans and lycra- outfit.I'll spare u the unnecessary details like agenda, villians and weapons now. Interested parties can drop in their comments down somewhere here. The more comments u write, the more I will re-consider :)

Anyway, lemme run to the loo now and see whether my kajal has smudged or my bindi has tranformed into a sun-dial...
Hey WHERES my DuPatta??

PS: Next release, 'Saree- a boon or curse' ??

Thursday, January 27, 2005

x (

It took *#@%in half hour for this page to open, now I have lost all my trains and lorries of thought!!

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Little Things

Why does a childs innocent face makes my head empty and my heart brim with love?
Why does that hug makes me sigh in relief?
Why does that one pat on the shoulder, lifts me from gloom and gives me hope?
Why does that one face makes my heart skip a beat, everytime?
Why do some people hurt me so much when they say so little?
Why does that one song makes me cry?
Why does rain make me dance?
Why does a call from that one person, gets me excited?
Why is that one name so special?
Why do i look around when I hear that familiar voice?
Why does that familiar symphony remind me of a kind face?
Why do i smile at strangers when ever I smell that familiar perfume?
Why do I hate her for hurting me but forgive her in a flutter of an eye?

These are the little things that make our lives so interesting, so livable.
In this world full of pain, betrayal, crime and violence, these little things still make us smile and give us hope.
I'm greatful for all the generous souls in my life who think about me every minute and thank god for creating me, who do anything for my comfort and happiness, who are selfless enough to put me before them.
Thank you

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Happpiiieeee New Year

Another eventful year chucked away into the year book.
Man was this year EVENTFUL!!!
Marked with rock, booze, work, lots and lots of friends and personal triumph.
After all that I have been through last year I can proudly say I have emerged a "WINNER".
[astounding applause]

I have scaled the mount everest, I have travelled across the sahara using snow dogs and reached the south pole on a bicycle, I have tarvelled around this planet in three dimensions, I have.. I have I have.. oh yes I have ........

Ok now the most memorable event-
[narration mode]
On a hot sultry afternoon, I receive a mail from a very unlikely source. This collegue of mine mailed me an invite to something called orca.....arket.....orekit or something!!
I knew this was a scam instantly. I mean why would someone who does'nt even remember my name send me an invite to some "social networking group" in all camaraderie???!
I deleted that mail instantly and eyed that gal for signs of envy or ridicule for a few days (ok ok a few hours), but none appeared.
Again on another sultry afternoon, when the spiders in my head sang "They spun a web for me" over and over again , I fished out this deleted mail b4 I could start oozing out web-goo outta my orifices. And then it happened, I logged into .......tan tan ta daaaaan ............... *O*R*K*U*T*
[rolling drums and blasting trumpets]

Uske baad tho meri life ban gayi yaar,
Day or night, dusk or dawn, no one I mean no one could keep me away from this magical land of friends and communities, scraps and testimonials, dates and disasters.
Like i said b4 " meri tho life ban gayi yaaaaaaarr"

[senti mode]
I have to thank ORKUT a million times for what its given me, firstly friends- some so close that I would'nt forget them for life - joy, companionship, like minded devils like me, laughter, a reason to come to work, memories and so much self-worth.

So here I am a proud winner, a lucky survivor dedicating the year 2004 to all my friends -
new and old [sniff sniff], my family -all old, my neighbours, my bus driver, the sweet auto guys, the kamala stores uncle, the ever smiling office attendant Jayamma, the restaurant owners in ITPL who sustain me and at last but not the least my mobile phone siemens 550 who inspite of completing silver jubilee in touchdown over soil and rock, marble and wood, carpet and tar has still been very faithful to me.
Thank you, thank you all.
[blowing my nose into my t-shirt]

P.S: I just heard that I am gonna be promoted to Scientist (from trainee) in a few days
Feeling good, feeling very very good ; )