Friday, June 02, 2006

3.03pm

‘Sorry Jaan’ he apologized, with concern writ across his face 'Cant make it today'.

She gulped thinking ‘not again?’. He knows that she has a short fuse and it gets shorter when people do not keep up their promises. She try’s hard, not to lose her temper and looks up blankly. ‘I didn’t make these plans Jaan, dad did. I am sorry’ he added.

She wanted to flee right then and never see him ever again. But she knew that she would have to. If only she was Road runner, she could have disappeared in a flash and since she wasn’t, she didn’t give it anymore thought. Speechless she sat there, afraid that if she parted her lips she might spew fire. ‘For once’ she told herself ‘Just for once, forgive him for breaking his promise’. But forgiving strangers was easier to her, than forgiving the one man she loved more than anybody else. She realized the irony and shrugged.

‘I have to go jaan. Don’t be angry' he added in a hurry.
She froze, while her mind raced and that familiar rush of rage was just rising in her belly. She wanted to hurt someone real bad. He called out to her again, breaking her reverie. She wanted to throw up. Pain and anger were never a palatable cocktail.

‘Jaan I have to leave now.’ She wanted to say something, anything. ‘I will see you later’ he added. She wanted to yell.
She wanted to stop him
She wanted to say, she needed him.
She wanted to tell him, she could not wait.
She wanted to tell him that, she had been counting seconds until that moment.
She wanted to tell him, there might not be a 'later'.
She wanted to tell him the minute he leaves, her world is going to fall apart.
She wanted to tell him ...

And right then the green turned gray on the IM and he was gone.

The painful wait starts again.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

All is fair in love...

Ankhen to pyar me dilki zuban hoti hai,

Sachi chahat to sada bezuban hoti hai,

Pyar mai dard bhi mile to kya gabrana,

Suna hai dard se chahat aur jawan hoti hai....

-Anon (from Fanaa)