Lost in Translation

These are samples of some of the mail exchanges in my office, sent by those brave men who have sacrificed language at the altar of science.

• This is for information please. (This is how our IT guys signs off his mails)
• My suggestion is, don't do anything. We have taken the initiation ontime. If anyone want to do anything they would have done it before. Always the person who is taking the responsibility / ownership, only will be on finger. (Need I explain?)
• I am very much thankful to every one who gave me an opportunity to be with the committe. I am very unhappy to inform that I would like to be relieved from the committee w.e.f 16^th of August 2007.
• Due to Curation database server down in Beverly, we could not place the order today. (Would it help if it was UP in beverly?)
• This has reference to Ingmar e-mail dated May 30th 2008 …
• After your working hours today, please exit from the tool make sure tomorrow morning, you will again login to tool. (Talk about a step-by-setp guide)
• As you aware, now Jag became AE for TP team.
• I can access the full text articles of Science Direct Journal etc which are subscribed by BB. If you have still problem, please let me know. (luckily I did not have any ‘still’ problems that day)
• Please verify for the cell page linked to the reaction and do if necessary corrections are required.
• After completing it, please send me at the earliest by today evening.
• Meeting invite: We can assemble in Training room for discussion of cell page at 9.00 a.m. Today. (I know we can, but should we?)
• Junior Editor's are requested not encourage the oral questions. (Am I back in school?)
• This is to inform you that our colleagues Suchitra and Roopa have delivered a baby boy. (Man, that was scandalous)
• A marriage is a beautiful and mysterious relation wherein your spouse is literally your other half, It is a life commitment, and a life commitment means the prime concern of your life. (This was quoted in a marriage invite… kudos to the couple for going ahead with the mysterious prime concern!)

Excuse me please if some of the conversation went on over-head transmission!!