Morning morning!!

Watta pretty pretty Bangalore morning. The suns held hostage by the clouds and there’s that dreamy creamy dawning light everywhere. Oh that fresh breeze, bringing in the aromas of pressure washed trees and roads (It rained last night), the heady morning coffee and the sweet (imaginary) smiles of my family.

Perfect! This day can never go bad…

Screeeeeeeeeech! Did I just say that too early? Gaaawd DAAAIMn it! Did I? diD I?

Now don’t wonder what happened this morning because I am gonna tell you …THAT DAAAAIMND Sandarshini guy next to my office, that’s what happened!!

Grrrr…urrrr…burrrr…whateverrrr!

Ok here’s the gist of the blog, morning morning I drop by at this Sandarshini for a peaceful breakfast of Idly and vada, and the waiter there refused to give me an extra ‘katori’ of sambhar.

I don’t know what’s with these restaurants in this side of town, they either bathe my idli with barrels of sambhar or fill a ‘micro-katori’ with two microns of sambhar and hand me a feather to paint my idly!!!!

What’s the DEAL people?

People like me who like their idli tasting like idli and sambhar tasting like sambhar, cant take this gruel, which tastes like last nights fish fry and cockroach! (Don’t ask me when did I, taste that?)

So I usually give waiters expert opinion about how the Idli and sambhar can be skillfully isolated by this magical invention called ‘Katori’!

This guy was obliging enough to glare at me and fill a tiny ‘katori’ with sambhar. And when the thought of walking back to him for a refill seemed too much of a hassle, I asked him for one more, which he plainly refused and asked me to come back when its empty. Wadddaaaaa *&$(#$*@$&(#@$#%^!@&#%^%!@!!

Anyways I foresaw a tragic end to my ‘pretty pretty’ morning, so instead of taking violent decisions™ I just stood there standing my ground! But he just ignored my demanding stare, completely!! (Grrrrrrr….)

Since I was really hungry and late to work, I didn’t bother showering abuses at him right then!! (Which on second thought seems like a very bad idea, because if I did, I would have moved on in life and spared you guys this melodrama)

Time for insight people, huddle up- I am not the kind of person who allows strangers to do/say whatever nonsense they want and let them get away with it. I am the kind who is in the “Most Unwanted List” of auto guys because I have had fights with atleast a 100 of them! My sooper fine lazer sharp stares have warded off many a jerk! I have slapped eve teasers and sacrificed my slippers to *(&(#*&*(#$ bump-ers! I can give any auto or bus driver a run for his money in the department of colloquial abuses! I just can’t take shit from people, period!

But I couldn’t let this guy ruin my ‘pretty pretty’ day! So I took my emaciated idly and constipated vada back to my table all the way muttering under my breath. I even thought about Brad Pitt in a thong just to distract myself, but the midget in my head wasn’t giving up. I could envision myself pulling out a bazooka and blowing off brain flakes of that guy, but…

Yeah I know, you are wondering, all this aggression, just because a guy snubbed me and refused to give me something I paid for? Provided bad service? Irritated me? Increased my BP? Made me prone to heart disease? Aged me earlier by a few weeks and RUINED MY DAY even before it began? Yes, I AM Pisshed and I don’t give a DAAAAIM!

Anyways I didn’t blow his brain; rather I just stuffed my mouth with that heart clogging vada and walked back to my office expecting a sooper painful Thursday!

Hmmmm…I know you are thinking, this story has no substance, it goes nowhere, you don’t care what happened and etc etc!

Well then welcome to my pretty pretty Thursday morning! (grin)

Now pull out your stones, bones and arrows, elephants, tanks and pigs and follow me to that Sandarshini! And if you are not free today, do mention when you are free in my comments and we can work out a convenient schedule?

Till then I hope you all have a great day and stay away from fluorescent pigeons, because the last I heard their radioactive poop makes people cha cha cha around flyovers, creating huge traffic jams and angry citizens, who go around selling vanaspathi instead of madren bread and ruin the tea which effects the economy of Namibia, which directly effects the ozone layer in Timbuctoo and provokes Bush to declare war on countries who don’t do the cha cha cha!

See how things are related?

Have a good day (more grin)

PS: Just back from lunch and the waiter pushed us out of the restaurant before we could sit. He said he is cleaning it (I wonder what the ‘it’ was and why was ‘it’ in a restaurant!). And then he took the order after 15min, yes I aint kidding FIFTEEN bl@@dy minutes and to add to it, he asked us to move to another table cos we were four and were sitting in a table for five! I showed him my choicest ‘finger’ and he got us the meal, bill and all!

Now this is too bizarre for a coincidence!
Should I skip dinner?