Krackpot Kadlekai

My first love

2011-08-17T14:34:00.000-07:00

The first man I ever fell in love with. Oh those soulful eyes, that sway and swagger. I lost my heart to you as soon as you said Yahoo. Oh my dear Junglee, you are closer now than ever.

A dogs tail

2011-08-03T10:05:00.000-07:00

Round and round I went, chasing my tail.
Chasing happiness
Chasing glory
Chasing love
Chasing respect
Chasing peace

The more I chase, the farther it seemed. Day and night, awake and in sleep... I chased that tail.
I was tired without trying. I gave-up before I started. Everything seemed in vain.

One fine day, a thought crossed my head ' What is the point to this chase? The more you get the more you want.'

Now I have stopped the chase
I have dropped myself from the race
No more worthless dreams
I am just high on life as it seems

Movied Out

2011-06-30T15:51:00.000-07:00

Bitten by the Pakeezah bug, smitten by Meena Kumari's eyes.
Another man goes down...

Life's tinted glasses

2011-06-29T09:05:00.000-07:00

Perspective, the tinted glasses through which we view the world around us. Through one's perspective, a Gondola ride through Venice is a cherishing experience and for another it is an expensive ride in a glorified sewer.

It wasn't languages that divided the people at the Tower of Babel, rather it was the myriad tinted glasses that each chose to receive. The colors, the hues, the textures... the novelty of it all is still stirring the pot of humanity.

You say 'united we stand'. How am I to stand with you when we want to save different worlds?

As colors of a rainbow flowing together in white, our differences can be blend into one mono-toned stillness. But for that one glorious moment, just after the summer rain, our perspectives break out of that stillness as violet, indigo and red.

Come tell me your perspective and let me catch a glimpse of your world.

iSmaal Pleasures

2008-07-02T05:43:00.000-07:00

Sample discourse between moi and my colleague whose 'First floor has been rented out'-

Me: Shit man from past half an hour its only been 10 minutes!
PB: :O
PB: then how come u know its half an hour?
Main: Biological clock
PB: ok, computer time u cant change sorry
Naanu: thu nimmajji [Translaason: Kind regards to your grand mother]
PB: wo kaun hain?
Naandi: Dhanyavad bola
PB: oh, thank you

Lost in Translation

2008-06-13T03:58:00.000-07:00

These are samples of some of the mail exchanges in my office, sent by those brave men who have sacrificed language at the altar of science.

This is for information please. (This is how our IT guys signs off his mails)
My suggestion is, don't do anything. We have taken the initiation ontime. If anyone want to do anything they would have done it before. Always the person who is taking the responsibility / ownership, only will be on finger. (Need I explain?)
I am very much thankful to every one who gave me an opportunity to be with the committe. I am very unhappy to inform that I would like to be relieved from the committee w.e.f 16^th of August 2007.
Due to Curation database server down in Beverly, we could not place the order today. (Would it help if it was UP in beverly?)
This has reference to Ingmar e-mail dated May 30th 2008 …
After your working hours today, please exit from the tool make sure tomorrow morning, you will again login to tool. (Talk about a step-by-setp guide)
As you aware, now Jag became AE for TP team.
I can access the full text articles of Science Direct Journal etc which are subscribed by BB. If you have still problem, please let me know. (luckily I did not have any ‘still’ problems that day)
Please verify for the cell page linked to the reaction and do if necessary corrections are required.
After completing it, please send me at the earliest by today evening.
Meeting invite: We can assemble in Training room for discussion of cell page at 9.00 a.m. Today. (I know we can, but should we?)
Junior Editor's are requested not encourage the oral questions. (Am I back in school?)
This is to inform you that our colleagues Suchitra and Roopa have delivered a baby boy. (Man, that was scandalous)
A marriage is a beautiful and mysterious relation wherein your spouse is literally your other half, It is a life commitment, and a life commitment means the prime concern of your life. (This was quoted in a marriage invite… kudos to the couple for going ahead with the mysterious prime concern!)

Excuse me please if some of the conversation went on over-head transmission!!

Occupational Hazard!

2008-01-29T04:10:00.000-08:00

More abstract and imaginative literature is, more popular it becomes. Thats why scientific journals are such a bore!

Vicious Circle

2008-01-29T04:05:00.000-08:00

More I read about 'self-help', more critical I become of others!

Obsession

2008-01-29T03:42:00.000-08:00

I have refrained from writing blogs because I barely find time from reading them. Been hooked on this regular dose of snippets of stranger's thoughts and random facts. Can I call it an addiction if I feel like knocking on a bloggers doors and demanding a post if he takes a break from blogging?
This spin city of thoughts and trivia is my window to the world and as long as blogs will be written, readers like me will be hooked... so please write on!

Ode on Blogosphere

If all the trees in all the woods were men,
And each and every blade of grass a pen;
If every leaf on every shrub and tree
Turned to a sheet of foolscap; every sea
Were changed to ink, and all earth's living tribes
Had nothing else to do but act as scribes,
And for ten thousand ages, day and night,
The human race should write, and write, and write,
Till all the pens and paper were used up,
And the huge inkstand was an empty cup,
Still would the scribblers clustered round its brink
Call for more pens, more paper, and more ink.

– Oliver Wendell Holmes, "Cacoëthes Scribendi"

Link via India Uncut

Hairy tales

2006-11-08T02:47:00.000-08:00

For quite some time I had been worried that I was not as beauty-parlor-savvy as a lot of urban chickas. I have never been too keen on peeling, grinding, deep-cleansing, exfoliating or using kitchen waste to better my skin, or look like a sphynx.

In my childhood my parents were content with the local barber giving me a crew cut or just balding my head during summers. That should explain why I never show off my childhood pictures! But as I grew up and more ‘chinkies’ decided that there are enough suckers around to pay exorbitant amounts for running a pair of clippers through the garden hedge, I too decided to try these beauty parlors for at least a hair cut.

Talking about hair cuts, why are beauty parlors so exorbitant compared to men’s salons? Both do the same things anyways, well almost. Why am I charged 600 bucks for a hair cut which makes me look like I just put my head through a rat hole, while Abhi gets a haircut for just twenty bucks? And his barber also throws in a free massage with it, while my beautician just rolls her eyes while I gasp at the cost of my haircut. Why? Why? Why?

Anyways, I should have just stuck to getting my occasional hair cut, but being a teenager and having exchanged my brains for a shove of peer-pressure, I decided to thread my eye-brows. For the ignorant ‘threading the eye brows’ is nothing but lassoing a bunch of eyebrow hair and pulling them out of their roots. C’mon its not as painful as it seems, it’s a hundred times worse! People should be out of their minds to be able to put themselves through this torture. But considering we are women and we live to learn pain…sigh!
Valiant as I was I endured the pain and tears, while most of my friends chickened out, seeing my neighbor howling with pain. My bravery was rewarded with well shaped eyebrows that gave me this constantly ‘interested’ look.

The torture didn’t end there. What everybody talks about after they have had their eye brows shaped is how pretty the eyebrows look, but they do forget to mention that if you don’t keep doing it often, you end up walking around with a beard which covers most of your forehead. So I kept doing it whenever I could muster enough courage or was just too numbed by life’s woes, that I needed a reminder that there are far worse pains in the world than a power cut during ‘Friends’.

Slowly I graduated to waxing, following that up with facials, bleaching and all that jazz. I was content that finally I had graduated to the position of the urban chickas. But all that hair pulling, pickling and white washing my face didn’t keep me interested for too long. So gradually I kept losing interest in torturing myself and nowadays I am just content with my Martin Scorsese looks!

Hear ye one and all, the Uber woman has arrived.

She has me in splits!

2006-11-07T02:35:00.000-08:00

ROTFL

3.03pm

2006-06-02T03:47:00.000-07:00

‘Sorry Jaan’ he apologized, with concern writ across his face 'Cant make it today'.

She gulped thinking ‘not again?’. He knows that she has a short fuse and it gets shorter when people do not keep up their promises. She try’s hard, not to lose her temper and looks up blankly. ‘I didn’t make these plans Jaan, dad did. I am sorry’ he added.

She wanted to flee right then and never see him ever again. But she knew that she would have to. If only she was Road runner, she could have disappeared in a flash and since she wasn’t, she didn’t give it anymore thought. Speechless she sat there, afraid that if she parted her lips she might spew fire. ‘For once’ she told herself ‘Just for once, forgive him for breaking his promise’. But forgiving strangers was easier to her, than forgiving the one man she loved more than anybody else. She realized the irony and shrugged.

‘I have to go jaan. Don’t be angry' he added in a hurry.
She froze, while her mind raced and that familiar rush of rage was just rising in her belly. She wanted to hurt someone real bad. He called out to her again, breaking her reverie. She wanted to throw up. Pain and anger were never a palatable cocktail.

‘Jaan I have to leave now.’ She wanted to say something, anything. ‘I will see you later’ he added. She wanted to yell.
She wanted to stop him
She wanted to say, she needed him.
She wanted to tell him, she could not wait.
She wanted to tell him that, she had been counting seconds until that moment.
She wanted to tell him, there might not be a 'later'.
She wanted to tell him the minute he leaves, her world is going to fall apart.
She wanted to tell him ...

And right then the green turned gray on the IM and he was gone.

The painful wait starts again.

All is fair in love...

2006-06-01T23:42:00.000-07:00

Ankhen to pyar me dilki zuban hoti hai,

Sachi chahat to sada bezuban hoti hai,

Pyar mai dard bhi mile to kya gabrana,

Suna hai dard se chahat aur jawan hoti hai....

-Anon (from Fanaa)

How to get that ultimate catch in Bangalore? Auto rickshaw

2006-05-30T04:30:00.000-07:00

All you harried commuters out there, your boon is here.

Step 1. How to stop an auto in Bangalore?

A. When waving hand/hands/hands and legs/flags/signs, screaming aloud, jumping around, cartwheels and levitation don’t work, you are advised to think of your favorite God and jump in front of the auto. Even then if the auto driver doesn’t stop, you deserve to walk. Come rain or hail!

Step 2. How to communicate with the auto driver?

You genially stoop, lower your voice and eyes, and ‘Request’ or plead the driver to ‘Drop you’ at your preferred destination. In most cases it is preferable to ask the driver where is he is willing to go and if that place is in your general direction, then climb aboard.

Step 3. Auto drivers’ communication code revealed:

Silence is Golden- hence please don’t mind the driver ripping past you after you mentioned your destination, without as much as looking at you.
Stare- He saw something shiny behind you.
Blank look- You are invisible
Disappointed sigh- Tch tch tch if only you hadn’t mentioned Basavanagudi.
Angry- Retreat quietly.
Nods- today is your lucky day.
He said ‘No’-I know its hard, but life goes on.
He said ‘yes’? Partiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Step 4. Auto passenger etiquette:

Running behind a moving auto to board the auto is healthy, you get your exercise and more importantly… see point number 4.
Always seat yourself in a manner in which the auto driver can see you in his rear view mirror, preferably if you are woman. These mirrors are installed for national security; hence never question its significance. Do not dare admonish the driver if you found him looking at the mirror rather than the road, because he is merely doing his duty for the nation and you should be glad if you lose your life or limbs for the country.
Always carry a neck brace, back brace, elbow pad, kneepad, helmet and portable seat belt. Its not the driver’s fault that there are more pot holes in Bangalore than good roads and then who doesn’t like a little adventure, right?
What, you haven’t heard of my brotha Shumi? Brakes are for sissies!
Staring at the meter is indecent and downright cheap of you. ‘Paisa kya hai, pairon ki dhool, cheee!’ (translasaan: Money what is legses dust, cheese)
If the meter is ticking away faster than your heart rate, you need a cardiologist and remember the driver is always right and honest. Oh yeah, ‘forged meter’ is a concept he is unaware of and scientists all around the world are researching the unexplained phenomenon ‘The older the meter, the faster it ticks’.
You are only and ONLY allowed to converse with the driver in Kannada. If you are an uneducated country brute who accidentally stumbled into this land of milk, honey, information, technology and silicon and can’t utter a word of this divine language? Then thou shalt be cursed with Varanata Rajkumar’s nose or worse his wife.
When a driver says ‘no change’ it merely means you are paying peanuts for his services. So don’t wince when he rides away with your hard earned 50 bucks that you paid for a 35 buck fare.
Again alighting from a speeding auto is good for your health and the auto driver is a busy man, he is out there to help one harried passenger at a time so time is of the essence. You can limp home!
Last but not at all the least do not forget to thank the Auto driver for the ‘favor’. If possible gift him beedies and pan masala and write a sonnet in his praise. Only in Kannada.

Beginners Auto Kannada Guide
(Also available as audio cassette narrated by Lingo Leela)

Auto driver Kannada is a versatile, adaptable and flexible language. You only need to know these two words and you could write a novel.

1) Hogi- means Go

Usage: Right Hogi, Left Hogi, Straight Hogi, Flyover Hogi, Please Hogi, Railway-track Hogi, Urgent Hogi.

2) Maadi- means Do

Usage- Stop maadi, reverse maadi, over take maadi, fast maadi, slow maadi, fly maadi, save maadi.

Did I mention this is an extinct form of unadulterated ‘Acchha’ Kannada, popular only in 'Bendakaluru' aka Boiled Cereal Town? (What? Did you say it resembles Kanglish? Walk past our auto union and I will take care of you. Chindi Chitranna!)

Very rarely you may witness an auto driver conversing in the purest and sweetest form of this language with his fellow riders on cycles, bikes or a cars who dared to commit the un-holiest act of blocking the auto’s passage. If you thought they were angry retorts with unfamiliar references to the offender’s body organs or mother or sisters, then you are wrong.

These words of wisdom and their anglicized translasaan, will be included in our next edition, which will be out very soon at your friendly neighborhood footpath, by ‘Long Live Piraasy’ publishers.

Until then remember ‘Woman’s words are poisonous than a snake’s’. (Seen on an auto)

I have let go

2006-05-05T05:26:00.000-07:00

I am falling, I am falling

I let go completely and now I am falling

I never wanted to, you know?

Hurts less when you hold on

But I decided to and now I am falling

Don’t know if I will crash, don’t know how long this will last

Is end staring me in the eye? Then lemme remember the vestiges of my life

But cant seem to put my mind to it

All my life, wanting to flash through my head

But I can’t seem to remember a thing

I know I have let go, I should be falling, but no... you make me fly.

What’s with all the mush?

2006-05-03T05:27:00.000-07:00

I know what you all must be thinking- What’s with all this 'smile on a gloomy day’ saga? Why do I have so many gloomy days in the first place anyways? And secondly I am sure you guys have already got the point that I am ‘majorly’ in love, then what’s with me rubbing in all this mush?

But then honey this is MY blog and I will very well write about what ever I want!
Uhahahahhaha now while you run to your lonely, painful lives, my sweet heart and I will be walking on M.G. road, swinging our hands singing ’Love is in the air’.

But baby remember that Love does come at a price and I am paying mine. But then it’s all worth it, as long as I get that one sweet love filled gaze which makes me smile on a gloomy day…

Heheheeee
[wicked laughter]

Makes sense series

2006-05-03T05:06:00.000-07:00

Life is all about the conversations you have had.

-Meeta Gangrade

Why do you love him?

2006-05-03T04:38:00.000-07:00

Gifts, roses, chocolates, candle light dinners, diamond ring, dolphin pendant, sleepless nights, long rides, epic conversations, love letters, loads of ‘I love you’s’, holding hands, hugs and kisses?

All that and the power to make the dark clouds disappear and make bliss return with a single glance.

Is this enough for you want to spend the rest of your life with someone?

Just Simple

2006-03-26T10:41:00.000-08:00

A thought racing through, pulled back and relished

It was you saying ‘and then I thought about the faith you have in me...’

A gleeful smile cutting through my pensive face

Like streaks of gold shining through the dark sky

Life seems such a waste sometimes and giving up comes easy

With fears looming large at the next trough, the next bend

Why would I want to give up my shield of doubt, anger and resentment?

But with your one Big toe, you just spun my world around, Tiger

Nothing seems impossible anymore, not even a smile on a gloomy day.

Hmmm...

2006-03-20T04:00:00.000-08:00

Mr. Fraaandship: Hi L*J...wana be my friend?
L*J: Whats in it for me?
Mr. Fraaandship: Hi L*J..Where are u from basically? I am D from Bangalore
L*J: D you still havent answered my question?
Mr. Fraaandship: I did not get your question clearly L*J..would you clearly tell me..are u asking about IT related toppic???

Either he is genuinely funny or I am evil for posting this here.

Eye-opener series

2006-03-15T04:21:00.000-08:00

The rarest of the things in this world are the costliest and the most difficult to acquire, one among them is due recognition.

-Abhishek 'Shark in the Suit' Sinha

The right to respect

2006-03-13T09:48:00.000-08:00

I know I am late for The Blank Noise Project blogathon, but better late than never, right? This blogathon is to raise awareness and help prevent Eve-teasing, Street harassment and Abuse.

I bumped into this Blogathon by chance and was quite surprised by the subject, considering that its pretty taboo and not that very well discussed, even though we are a ‘progressive’ urban society. But after reading through quite a few blogs, surprisingly some written by men too, I was shocked and jolted by the experiences. Shocked not because I could not believe of what these women went through, rather surprised by the fact that these women went through the exact same things that I have been going through, since my rite of passage! It was a revelation, considering that inspite of being from differences cities, towns, educational backgrounds, class, status, none of us escaped being physically and mentally abused. Be it cat calls, being stalked, groped, flashed, jeered, rubbed into, pushed, pulled, threatened, abused, beaten, jolted, ridiculed; the trend was frighteningly similar.

For many, eve teasing seems like a very harmless sport. C’mon every one of us has flirted or joked around with the opposite sex sometime. But where do we draw the line? When does it turn into abuse from harmless flirting?
I guess that’s where we all need to be taught, enlightened and disciplined. When people take effort to teach us the way to eat, write, walk, learn, think and even talk right, then why can’t we teach how to identify abuse and face it?

The world is a scary place, but each one of you feels safe in this cocoon hoping that as long as it doesn’t happen to us, we don’t need to be bothered. I guess this false hope of safety is what has led women to be this brutally abused EVERYDAY. If my parents, relatives or teachers had warned me about these perverts and their evil tricks I would have been prepared the first time I was groped, instead of feeling dirty, demeaned, ashamed, angry, and cheap about my body, doubting what had I done wrong? I wouldn’t have been scared shit when a freak followed me back from school if someone on the street had seen my plight and come to my rescue. I wouldn’t have been embarrassed and disgusted if my college management and police had done something to stop the flashers and eve teasers out side my college! If only I was safe, I wouldn’t have been this broken, shit scared woman who grows apprehensive when the sun goes down, who would rather spend a bomb on autos than take a bus home, who wouldn’t go to late night movies, restaurants, parties and even mid-night masses without a male escort, who would have to pick me up and drop me back home.

But then inspite of all the fear, anger, helplessness, shame, ignorance, self-doubt, disgust, agony and anger, I have made an effort to stand up to these perverts.
If someone touched me now without my permission, I would beat the living day lights out of that bastard, like I did on my trip back to Bangalore from Mangalore, a year back. I had to resort to beating him because; inspite of repeatedly complaining to my aunt about this guy who was feeling me up from the ‘front seat’ in a bus full of sleeping people, my aunt asked me to ignore him and I did. But there’s only that much a girl can stand. When that bastard didn’t stop inspite of my angry retorts, I pulled out my water bottle, stood up and beat the hell out of that guy. The bus was stopped, the conductor came running, I narrated what happened, people woke up from their slumber and grumbled, my aunt seemed embarrassed(can you believe that?), I looked at that creep trembling with fear and he seemed to be just a ‘college kid’!!!
And even after everything that had happened, the conductor asked me not to make a fuss and ‘disturb’ my fellow passengers!
I was fuming with rage. People didn’t support me, my own aunt did not come to my rescue, the conductor asked me to hush and sit tight, but none of this mattered, because when I reached Bangalore, I was a new woman, a stronger, braver, redeemed woman. That one moment of retaliation wiped away all the pain, anger, shame, anguish and disgust of the earlier abuse. It was a start and I have never been sorry about it. But even today I can’t forgive my aunt for not backing me up!
From then on I haven’t been afraid to walk with my head held high rather then fold my hands across my chest, scare these pricks away with a glare when earlier I wouldn’t even look up, now I resort to screaming and self-defence rather than walking away and sometimes even helping out other women.
A faint ray of hope is that when I tell my mom about this, she is proud of me and backs me up. Thanks Mom for understanding and encouraging me to face the world, one less grope at a time.

But this doesn’t mean that I am still a free bird. I follow every rule in the book.
Don’t go out alone after dark.
Avoid lonely streets.
Don’t talk to strangers.
Don’t wear revealing clothes and accessories, which draw attention.
Don’t pick up fights unnecessarily.
Always know your limits and dangers.
Always be alert and on guard.
Save emergency numbers on the phone.
Grow longer nails.
And never ever forget to pack your courage and presence of mind, while stepping out of home.

Anyways now back to the point of this Blogathon- Awareness.
Keeping this is mind, I forwarded a few of these blogs to my friends and colleagues, and I was quite taken back by the response. While most women recognized with the experiences in the blogs, most men seemed genuinely surprised that women actually go through this kind of abuse everyday and everywhere. This either shows that men just turn a blind eye and justify these atrocities or they were truly never aware of mistreatment of women. But I have intentionally skipped the third category, they being perverted themselves!

I don’t know if I can change the minds of those who justify eve teasing or they themselves part take in it, but through my experiences and hundreds of other women’s blogs, I can at least enlighten the ignorant of the atrocities meted out to their mothers, daughters, sisters, wives, friends, nieces, girl friends, aunts, babies and even grand mothers on a daily basis.
That’s the reason I am writing this blog. And for those of you who are rolling their eyes thinking ‘oh c’mon not one more of those Women’s day feminists’, let me make this clear that I am not here for male bashing or asking for any kind of reservation for women. I am here to plead for a life without constant fear. I am asking for the most basic of rights, the right to self respect and dignity.

I am not going to discuss what provokes these perverts, how they are mis-guided by the media, society and peers or why men think the way they think . Darn I don’t even want to know how many meters of clothing a woman should wear to avoid being eve teased?

All I want is a little awareness and acknowledgement of the fact that these atrocities happen, right under the noses of the family, friends, police, public and government. Not many women complain because they are scared, ashamed, embarrassed, discouraged, lose hope and give up and those who complain are harassed by the bureaucracy and red tape . I can guarantee you that every single woman in India has been molested atleast ONCE! Most of us, millions who travel venture out of our homes daily to ply by public transport, pass through streets, shopping malls, colleges, schools, temples, churches, markets, layouts and in every damn god forsaken public place, we are abused day in and day out. I cant even begin to imagine what happens among poor, illiterate women in villages and cities!

Men should be privileged that you do not encounter perverted pricks out to harass you sexually, daily. They are not waiting for you on lonely streets, in bus stands, grouped under a tree, behind the tinted glass of the passing car, riding on bikes and cycles, in the bus’, trains, autos, taxis and not every shadow or foot steps evoke fear and terror in you all the time.
You men are lucky to have privileges like taking a long peaceful walk on a moonlit night, watching late night movies, eating out in a restaurant post 9, traveling alone at 2 am, getting a breathe of fresh air in your own compound or terrace, all these are just mere routine for men, but an impossible dream for Indian women!

I know that things won’t change overnight and India will not turn into heaven immediately, but we can make a start somewhere. That’s why I request all you men and women to try and follow a few basic rules:

Women, there is no point in a few of us screaming for justice and dignity, if you yourselves do not take any initiative. I have seen so many of my friends, family and strangers bear the abuse silently and do not even muster enough courage to glare at the offender or even ask for help! Most of the abuse is spoken about, only after the guys walk away and its too late!
I know that every one of these women, has never been able to forget the snigger of those perverts, the lust in their eyes or have never stopped fearing the approaching hand. I am sure that their bodies and minds still feel dirty and no amount of shudders and baths can take away that feeling of disgust . They still vent their anger at their helplessness and ignorance. But there is no point in belated fury, while you let that bastard walk away?

So wake up, take control of your bodies and be on guard.
Scream, fight, scratch, slap, cry, castrate or just plain abuse them. Use any weapon that you can; be it safety pins, chilly powder, nails, teeth, pepper spray, water bottles, bags, umbrellas or karate, do not hesitate. People may or may not help you, police may save or harass you, your companion may turn away or your own family may hush you, but don’t let them stop you. Believe me even though that man did abuse you, you will have the satisfaction of fighting back against that ass hole and made sure that the he will think atleast million times before he abuses another girl.
I know how scary it is to face these perverts; I know how humiliating it is to tell people that someone just grabbed your breasts or tell your dad that a stranger just brushed against you. But girl you have to do it, to save yourself and others from being raped every day, piece by piece, part by part, inch by inch, before there is nothing left of your dignity, self respect, courage, education, talent or emotions. You will just be a empty shell of a woman, believing that you are just another set of boobs, ass and vagina!
So girls do something, do anything.

Next comes Family, you have the biggest responsibility. Why is it that when parents and elders can warn their kids against taking food from strangers or scare kids about being kidnapped, cant explain what kind of abuse men are capable of?
What stops you- shame? How does your embarrassment to explain these things, help your kid who has just been groped and doesn’t understand why she feels so dirty and disgusted? How does your denial to educate your kid save him or her from self doubt and low self esteem?
You have no right to have kids if you can’t provide, protect and educate them.
And a kind request to all those friendly, out going and easy to mingle aunts and uncles, do not let your kids sit or play with strangers and acquaintances. Don’t just trust people blindly. Always ask your sons and daughters about anything strange that they have encountered and always be on guard. It’s your duty to protect your kids, lest something unforgivable happens.
Of course last but not at all the least, support and trust your sons and daughters, rather than doubting them. They are your flesh and blood, your hopes and dreams, the object of your love and affection, the least you can do is take their side and, heed and lead.

Public support can help curb a lot of evils be it robbery, assault or abuse. Support the victim and not the perpetrator. Most timid public, like the ones in Bangalore would rather be silent by-standers than active supporters. All it takes is a little initiative, a little intervention; all it takes is one helping hand or a raised voice.

So please spread the word and make it clear to people that things like this do happen whether its in Forum Mall or City Market. Only awareness can lead to prevention and hopefully even eradication. At least this won’t give the snobbish, blind, self righteous pricks a chance to hush these things up and pretend nothing happened or claim that women brought this up on themselves!

I don’t exactly feel proud to ask men for help but fathers, brothers, uncles, grandpa’s, friends and boy friends, it is your duty to take care of us girls, protect us, educate us, support us, help us and prevent these perversions. And of course teach your sons, grandsons, brothers, nephews and friends to respect women and please do not encourage abuse.
When I narrated these horrors to one of my closest friends, he was shocked, hurt and apologetic. I know how most of you men must feel when we started revealing our painful ordeals. Remember that we are not generalizing and we are definitely not blaming you all. We know that there are a few good men, rare but they are there. And it is because of these few good men, women still trust men and muster courage to brave that crowded bus, markets, streets, malls, fests, schools and colleges,knowing that inspite of these evil creeps, there are a few good men who will come to their rescue.

Lastly I salute the undying spirit and strength of women, who rise like a Phoenix no matter how many times her will and dignity are trampled on.

I was always proud to be a woman, today I am prouder because of you fewbrave women . Thanks to the Blank noise project for initiating this drive and spreading awareness.

Please remember, support the victim, not the abuser!

People!

2006-03-02T10:22:00.000-08:00

Have any of you ever absolutely hated someone just for the basic reason that you hate him? You hated him from the moment you laid eyes on him and till today you can’t pin-point exactly what about him that you despise?
You just hate him, Period!
There’s something about him that screams to you that he deserves only your spite, poison, glares and anger.
Even if there is faint ray of hope that you might just like something about him, it is trampled by this blind, over whelming hatred. These are the people I am most passionate about, because they take up a lot of my time, energy and frustration in actively hating them. Everybody needs one of them to blame your misfortune, bad days, painful weather, India losing to Pakistan again and of course for just being an eye sore. Curiously they always end up doing something which always invites my wrath. So I aint gonna run outta these for a long time to come.

At the same time there are these select few whom I can’t help but love. It doesn’t matter that they are the one’s who hurt me the most, but I’d rather see them happy than sad. It’s just amazing how a self-centered, self-obsessed, self-righteous (you get the point) person like me can love people just for the simple reason that I love to love them. Rarely even, unconditionally.

And then there are the ‘Just there’ people. These could be called acquaintances in a broader sense of the term, but I have known them all my life so how can they be just acquaintances? At the same time, I barely ever go beyond ‘What’s New?’, ‘How’s your sick dad?’ (who had a cold 14 years back), ‘How is studies?’ etc. They are neither promoted nor demoted; they stay ‘Just there’ forever, on mutual agreement of course.

Now come the 'Storm in-Rush out' package. Someone who is introduced at a party as my friend’s brother’s neighbor’s colleague's classmate, exchange pleasantries and phone numbers, just happened to be free and end up having coffee, out-wit each other, flirt, steal glances, skip a beat, have a stupid fight, fantasize about, decide to tell him that we are more than friends and on the same day congratulate him on making up with his 'supposedly' ex-girl friend.
The next day, I just cant seem to remember where I saved his number.

Then come the largest category of people the ‘Acquaintances’. They are there just because they are too complicated to be categorised or are just not worth the effort.

Next come the most annoying, intriguing, tiring, relentless, awe inspiring category- RELATIVES!
Do I need to even explain them?

And last come the most interesting of them all, the ‘Love-Hate’ people. The creatures whom I love to hate and hate to love. Somewhere in my complicated life, these poor things ended up in opposite baskets of ‘I love you sooooo much chweetie pie’ to ‘Get the hell outta my face Bitch!’ lot accidentally or intentionally. And miraculously even the other way around.
Why are they interesting? Like they say ‘The best friends make the worst enemies’.

Well with all these people around me how can life ever be empty or boring? And everyday is a constant struggle of database management.
No wonder my favorite hobby is ‘People’- kissing them, kicking them, beating them, cheated, hated, trampled, encouraged, helped, heart broken, ignored, blessed, cursed, miracles, tragedies, hope, failure, disappointed, loved...
The list keeps me occupied and evolving.

Bring it on people!

One Fine Day

2006-02-19T07:55:00.001-08:00

I had not written a blog in a long time because I kept telling myself and others too, that I cannot write anything good while I am happy and if I am really happy, then just forget about blogging. But I am ready to take a chance. Let me warn you this blog has a high mushiness quotient, so the hard at heart and cynics beware.

This blog is dedicated to my Jaan, my life, my love Abhi. He walked into my life when I thought I had learnt all of life’s lessons. I was no more a mushy romantic teenager who swooned to MLTR rather I was a head banging rebel. A hardened soul who thought feelings and matters related to the heart are things of fiction and only people who are severely mentally ill or unbelievably lucky find their soul mates.

And then he walked into my life when my world seemed hopeless, like sunshine on a gloomy day, like refreshing rain on a scourging earth, like life itself into an empty ruin of a woman. It was a cold November night when we met to share a beer and I told him something which would make him mine for ever. Only I didn’t know that then. I told him my biggest fear was that the man I am going to marry is never going understand my jokes and we laughed heartily. The night was spent recalling memories and stealing glances. There was magic in the air and I think I saw the moon smile at me.

Since then days and nights were spent at coffee shops, restaurants, streets, pubs and riding around town; exchanging thoughts on life, love, mystery, work, gals-boys and lot of things which weren’t spoken but conveyed none the less.
And then came that eventful night at Pecos, first floor, table 1, 4 pitchers down, two sloshed drunkards trying to outwit each other and in all that chaos revealed their deepest desires; mine was life and his was ‘me’.
THUD!

Then followed days of denial, fears, anguish, loss, recalling painful memories, road blocks, what-ifs, if-nots, why-shoulds and inspite of all my battering my man stuck to his stance and he won. I have never been happier to lose.
On a sparkly Christmas night we said ‘I love you’ and we exchanged our fears for a lifetime promise of love.

Since then life has been on this roller-coaster of fine, better, best and outstanding bliss and happiness; inspite of the distance, time lag and busy schedules. My eyes have lit up with his love, the world is indeed colorful and beautiful, and people truly are friendlier. What’s more our sighs say more than a Shakespearean love story; time and space do not matter while 12 hour conversations pursue across continents, my heart skips a beat every time he smiles. What can I, say I am truly, madly, deeply, absolutely, head over heels in love.

I know our journey has just begun and we have a long way to go, but I am not afraid anymore.

Things done and undone

2006-02-08T07:16:00.000-08:00

01. When I was younger I made some bad decisions*************
02. I don't watch much TV these days.*************
03. I love psychodelic mushrooms.
04. I love sleeping
05. I have loads of books. (not loads but enough)
06. I once slept in a toilet.*************
07. I love playing video games.****************
08. I adore marijuana.
09. I watch porn movies
10. I watch them with my father.
11. I like sharks..*************
12. I love spiders..*************
13. I was born without hair and I still have no hair.
14. I like George Bush.
15. People are cool*************
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year*****************
17. I have jacuzzi and a Porsche.
18. I have a lot to learn..******************
19. I carry my knife everywhere with myself.
20. I'm really really smart*************
21. I've never broken someone's bones***************
22.I have a secret.. *********************
23. I hate snow *******************
25. Punk rock rules **************
26. I hate Bill Gates!
27. I love Chinese food*************
28. I would hate to be famous*************
29. I am not a morning person*********************
30. I wear glasses*************
31. I don't need glasses, except sunglasses
32. I have potential.********************
33. I'm pure Japanese..
34. My legs are two different sizes*************
35. I have a twin
36. I wear a padded bra.
37. I can ramble on about absolutely nothing*************
38. I'm left-handed
39. I hate llamas, but I'm one of them.
40. I don't like horror movies*************
41. I suck at climbing, but I love it anyway*******************
42. People hate me usually
43. I love pop music*************
44. I hardly ever go to bed before midnight..************
45. I hate parking fines. *********************
46. I know the National Anthem of my country by heart. ******************
47. I know more than two languages... ****************
48. I spend too much time on my computer..***************
49. I often want to throw out the computer in a window...
50. I live on a ground floor.
51. I don't like chocolate.
52. I'd like to be more original.****************
53. I've lied.*********************
54. Cocks are my favorite birds.
55. I want to conquer the world.*****************
56. I wonder what happens when you die**************
57. I've read all books about Harry Potter.
58. Eat your dog!
59. I love to exercise
60. I hate chemistry*************
61. I love to write..*******************
62. I like changes.******************
63. I hate going to class.
64. I am afraid to die. ****************
65. I hate dish washing.**************
66. My hair is long, brown, and incredibly curly.
67. My nails are nine inch long.
68. My favorite color is black
69. I like to sleep on the floor
70. I am hopeless at cooking.
71. I sucked my thumb when I was little*************
72. I should be doing something else rather than writing this.**********
73. I am online a lot.**********
74. I hate government. **********
75. I don't have a boyfriend
76. I'm too nice for my own good.**********
77. I love to read. **********
78. I don't trust newspapers.**********
79. I like debating*************
80. I live in a lagoon.
81. I clean my room once a month..**********
82. I'm scared of american fast food*************
83. I am prying open my third eye*************
84. I love Mozambique*************
85. I don't trust any religion.
86. I used to play with barbies.
87. I wanted to be a super hero when I was little..**********
88. I like listening to wind chimes*************
89. I'm very disorganized..**********
90. My hair is long and straight. **********
91. I earn a lot.
92. I don't like spicy food.
93. I keep a diary
94. I can't do cartwheels.**********
95. I am very lazy*************
96. I'm sarcastic.**********
97. I think my hair is annoying.
98. I am very sensitive.
99. I love being abnormal*************
100. My left eye is violet and my right eye is a light blue*************

Courtesy BC JOX

I am a sorcerer

2006-01-30T21:56:00.000-08:00

Coutesy Shwe

Temporary insanity

2006-01-10T03:19:00.000-08:00

I know I haven’t written anything in a LONG time, life’s keeping me busy. Not that I didn’t have time to blog, just that my head is full of things I cant really blog about. Lately I am gripped by this very strange feeling in my head, which science calls a ‘Form of Insanity’. Nay I aint running around screaming at people, rather I am in my best behavior and greeting everyone with a smile. For people who have known me, this might actually seem pretty shocking; believe me I am stumped too. The other unexplained phenomena are, I hardly get angry these days, my feet seem to be treading on clouds, my heads filled with mushy songs, there’s a sweet longing in my heart for that familiar gaze, the world seems all vibrant and colorful, I am ‘actually’ smelling roses and most importantly I am feeling choooooo special.

Well my affliction doesn’t end here, there's more:

Smiling when nobody is around
Eternally lost in thought
Humming too loudly
Moments of prolonged silence even in company (so unlikely me)
Loss of appetite
Sleepless nights
Loss of social contact
Excessive Blushing
Splashing of my innards
And this intense yearning for this object of affection.

I did some research over this subject and this is what science churned out.
These are the chemicals that are making me do all of the above-
Dopamine - Also activated by cocaine and nicotine.

Norepinephrine - Otherwise known as adrenalin. Starts us sweating and gets the heart racing.

Serotonin – A chemical, which can actually send someone temporarily insane. (Hmmm this explains the insanity part!)

So this is the update about my present state of mind and hope to not recover from it anytime soon.
Keep smiling guys and happy insanity

Journal-ed

2005-12-27T04:18:00.000-08:00

A lot of things have happened since the last time I blogged. These are snippets from my ‘happening’ life.

Must have put on a few kilos in the last few weeks, old age is creeping up on me or was it because of all the wine and cake I have been stuffing, owing to Christmas spirit?

Works come down to neutral from full gear, blame it on all the snow in my head. Winters should be given off, so that we could snuggle up in bed, rather than slog!

Had the best(est) Christmas ever. Looked gorgeous on Christmas Eve, partied till dawn and Christmas day couldn’t have been perfect, thanks to my family and friends.

And last and never the least, I am on Cloud number 9, Life is beautiful, My Dil goes hmmmm…, now you do the math.

Seasons Greetings ,
L*J

Well ... call it GK

2005-12-09T02:01:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when shit happens, you want to be able to articulate the experience more than just you've, taken a shit. Here are some shit definitions to help you explain the situation better to your friends and family...

Ghost Shit

You know you've shit. There's shit on the toilet paper, but no shit in the bowl.

Teflon Coated Shit

Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of shit on the toilet paper, you have to look in the bowl to be sure you did it!

Gooey Shit

This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your ass 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This shit leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

Second Thought Shit

You're all done wiping your ass and you're about to stand up when you realize it.....you've got some more.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit

This kind is the kind of shit that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

Bali Belly Shit

You shit so much you lose 5 kilos.

Right Now Shit

You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.

King Kong or Commode Choker Shit

This shit is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of shit usually happens at someone else's house.

Wet Cheeks Shit

This shit hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your ass wet.

Wish Shit

You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no shit!

Cement Block or Oh God Shit

You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you shit.

Snake Shit

This shit is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.

Cork Shit (Also Known as Floater Shit)

Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This shit usually happens at someone else's house.

Mexican Food Shit (also called Screamers)

You'll know it's alright to eat again when your asshole stops burning.

Beer Drunk Shit

This happens the day after the night before. Normally your shit doesn't smell too bad, but this shit is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of shit also usually happens at someone else's house.

The Frightened Turtle

The kind of shit that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in

The Bungee Shit

The kind of shit that just hangs off your ass before it falls into the water.

The Ring of Fire Shit

The kind of shit where you eat really spicy food and your asshole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.

The Crippler

The kind of shit where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.

The Big Bobber

The kind of shit that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.

The Shitty Shitty Bang Bang

The kind of shit that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.

The Incredible Hulk Shit

The king of shit that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size.

The Jack the Ripper Shit

The kind of shit that yanks out the hair of your ass as it pushes its way out.

The Party Pooper

The giant shit you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.

The Toxic Gas Shit

The kind of shit that makes you pass out and fall of the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange South American town.

Dirty Bowl Shit

The kind of shit that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.

The Windy City Shit

When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a shit.

Oh Shit! Shit

You shit so much and wipe your ass so furiously you run out of toilet paper and you say OH SHIT!

The Never Ending Shit

It's the shit that keeps running out of your ass like pea, and just when you start wiping your ass your stomach gargles and splash, more shit runs out. This always happens after eating at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Ouch That Hurt Shit

The type of shit that leaves you feeling like you just hoped onto a bicycle without a seat. Sensation usually lasts hours.

-I wish I knew who came up with these, for now its ANON!

I love my life

2005-12-08T00:41:00.000-08:00

Yeah yeah I know, I ranted and raved about how relationships hurt and how everything in life is so dark, gloomy and painful. Well guess what? Life isn’t that bad after all. Rather its absolutely aaaaaaaaaaahsum, right now.

I need to thank the small joys in life for that. Never stop smelling the roses, never ignore a friendly smile and never turn down a beer.

Happy life people.

Addicted

2005-11-27T21:56:00.000-08:00

You are wrong for me

A primal attraction

A fond memory

A sly smile

An intentional mistake

A crazy ride

You are the eternal ‘comma’ in my life, neither the alpha nor the omega

Never missed

Never yearned

You weave into my life of blues, like a crazy yellow

A desire, camouflaged as hope.

Bringing ripples of lost laughter, pleasure and pain

Whispering in my ears

Feeling my heart race

Freeing me from my fears

For that instant, you make my life perfect and I hate you for that

-Never yours never apart, LJ

Can we be friends?

2005-11-25T22:30:00.000-08:00

The worst thing one can ever do to a friendship is, turn it into a romantic relationship.

Why is it that two FRIENDS, who completely and genuinely understand each other, boast about having similar frequencies and mind sets, who forgive each others faults and errors instantly and ungrudgingly, love spending time with each other, who believe in a hassle free life, overnight, turn into each others nightmares, as soon as they utter these words- “Lets take this a step further and get into a relationship”?

Every single day is a challenge, after this. Every meeting, ends with a fight and the next one has to start with where you left off. There is absolutely no room for error. Oh boy, one single word can explode into a world war scale fight, followed by weeks of Cold war, ofcourse. Nothing you do or say is right. And as if the Gods are against this union, every single thing you do or say somehow, IS going to turn out wrong, it’s a given!

What is it about ‘relationships’ that makes these perfectly harmonious adults turn into abusive, possessive, expectational, irrational, insensitive, uncommunicable, pain in the arses?
What makes two intelligent, considerate and loving ADULTS, act so inhumanely towards each other? (Nat Geo are u reading this?)

And finally when you decide to give all this pain and anguish a break and decide to break up and move on, what comes next? More pain!
Nothing is as painful, not even a root canal, compared to getting over some one. It doesn’t matter if you just knew the person for a month or a decade it hurts just as much. And then starts the routine of doubts, denial, self-pity, confusion, optimism and hope. And just when you think you have forgotten that someone and you are ready to move on, just when you have decided that you have learnt from your mistakes and swear to consider all men and women as your brothers and sisters, you meet Mr.Right (#12453) and the whole cycle repeats.

Is it really worth the trouble?

What is wrong with being ‘just friends’?

What is wrong with staying uncommitted?

What is wrong in investing all that time, energy, patience and money, into family, friends, work and the future?

What is wrong with staying single?

A piece of advice, never turn you friend into your boyfriend, unless that’s the last time you expect to see him, as a good friend!

PS: The gyan and related bullshit, that I had gathered over ‘why a relationship doesn’t work’, has been intentionally omitted, because nothing beats learning from your own mistakes. So happy f****in-up your life!

Never had this much fun laughing at ourselves!

2005-11-10T21:53:00.000-08:00

Driving in India
A Hilarious Account

I visited Mumbai recently and agree with the observations about driving. For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting India and daring to drive on Indian roads, I am offering a few hints for survival. They are applicable to every place in India except Bihar, where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer.

Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best and leave the results to your insurance company.

The hints are as follows:

Do we drive on the left or right of the road? The answer is "both". Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess.

Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality.
Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the intended direction. Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself. Except for a belief in reincarnation, the other drivers are not in any better position.
Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back. Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.
Blowing your horn is not a sign of protest as in some countries. We horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts) or just to mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar.
Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rain waters to recede when over-ground traffic meets underground drainage.
Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience (for those with the mental makeup of Genghis Khan). In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes. Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver and the peg of illicit arrack he has had at the last stop; his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a naught. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India and are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motorbike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously. Of course, all this occurs at night, on the trunk roads.

During the daytime, trucks are more visible, except that the drivers will never show any signal. (And you must watch for the absent signals; they are a greater threat.) Only, you will often observe that the cleaner that sits next to the driver will project his hand and wave hysterically. This is definitely not to be construed as a signal for a left turn. The waving is just an expression of physical relief on a hot day.

Occasionally you might see what looks like an UFO with blinking colored lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrim buses go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting with success.

Unique to Indian traffic:

Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi)

The result of a collision between a rickshaw and an automobile, this three-wheeled vehicle works on an external combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil and creosote. This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers three times its weight and dimension, at an unspecified fare.

After careful geometric calculations, children are folded and packed into these auto rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in contact with the vehicle at all. Then their school bags are pushed into the microscopic gaps all round so those minor collisions with other vehicles on the road cause no permanent damage. Of course, the peripheral children are charged half the fare and also learn Newton's laws of motion en route to school. Auto-rickshaw drivers follow the road rules depicted in the film Ben Hur and are licensed to irritate.

Mopeds

The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; they would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them and are often "mopped" off the tarmac.

Leaning Tower of Passes

Most bus passengers are given free passes and during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem (hell). There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings and the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying laws of surface tension. As drivers get paid for overload (so many Rupees per kg of passenger), no questions are ever asked. Steer clear of these buses by a width of three passengers.

One-way Street

These boards are put up by traffic people to add jest in their otherwise drab lives. Don't stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that you cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive as you like, in reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type.

Lest I sound hypercritical, I must add a positive point also.

Rash and fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a "speed breaker"; two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that residence
and is left un-tarred for easy identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting.

If, after all this, you still want to drive in India, have your lessons between 8 pm and 11 am - when the police have gone home. The citizen is then free to enjoy the 'FREEDOM OF SPEED' enshrined in our constitution.

Having said all this, isn't it true that the accident rate and related deaths are less in India compared to US or other countries ?

-By Mohan Dadlani

Now presenting at a corner near you!

2005-11-10T01:05:00.000-08:00

‘Whackos in my life’.

A mini series documenting those extraordinary individuals in my life, who make every day a struggle for survival! The general rules of logic, reasoning, personal space and privacy, don’t apply to them. Considering that I am a highly opinionated, hardly patient, super bitch, it takes immense patience and drop in IQ levels for me reasoning with these kinds. So I am going to take out my frustration by bitching about them!

Statutory reminder: Any resemblance to anybody living and still continuing to live, is purely intentional.

Whacko #1:

Lets call it the WHY-FLY.

Yup something like Wi-Fi, but less technical and more toxic.

WHY-FLY seems very innocent and knowledgeable in the first encounter and then it opens its mouth.

That’s when, a lotta sane people run for cover and the saner people dig a hole and bury themselves, and lay a truckload of cement on it. There’s not a topic in this galaxy that it wouldn’t want to enlighten you with, the only problem is that the listener usually wants to run into the nearest sharp object or has violent spasms. Ofcourse, it doesn’t matter to the WHY_FLY that we never asked for the insight aka axa-blade, in the first place!

Anyways, the winning reason for WHY this phenomenon is in my Whackos category is also for the ‘WHY’ disease. Considering that it 'apparently' knows everything on this planet, it still has this strange affliction for asking questions and a lotta questions. Its not any question mind you. These are the world’s best, one of a kind, silliest of the silly questions. There’s only one category we can classify them into, mindless junk, like:

Why is ABCs hair curly?

Why are the folders shaped like a rectangle?

Why do u sit with your back resting on the chair?

Why?
Whyyyy?
Whyyyyyyyy?

Well those who make a mistake of reasoning these unreasonable questions, soon learn that logic and reasoning just committed suicide!

Since the two years that I know it, it has never changed and god save us all!

Coming soon, Whacko #2, the intruder, unsurpassed!

Wanna know what I am thinking right now?

2005-11-04T03:52:00.000-08:00

If something which took two and half years to unfold was rehashed in just one and a half months, does that mean you are mature and grown up or is life smacking you on the face and laughing its arse off?

2. Why are sarcastic funny one-liners appreciated only on TV/movies? Most of mine are wasted on ignorant fools. I need a laugh track for my life, atleast to remind them that they need to ROTFL, right then.

3. “How much is too much?” .

This is gonna be my life’s quest from today.

4. TGIF

Tagged .... grrrrr!

2005-11-02T21:42:00.000-08:00

Yup my 'Time-please' didnt work on Su!
Ok dont scratch your heads over this.

I have been tagged by the 'Holy Cow' herself!

And this is what I was to do.

Delve into your blog archive
Find your 23rd post (or closest to)
Find the fifth sentence (or closest to)
Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions
Tag five people to do the same

And this is the rough estimate:

I have scaled the mount everest, I have travelled across the sahara using snow dogs and reached the south pole on a bicycle, I have travelled around this planet in three dimensions, I have.. I have I have.. oh yes I have ........

Five people i tag are:
Suderman, Eliiee the pee, Deppe, Naveen and Saj
[evil grin]

Hey

2005-10-25T23:53:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't blogged in quite some time now. Blame it on my biji schedule.

So far this is whats been happening
1) Organised three events at work. The biggest and the best is coming up this weekend. Lotta running around, sheesh!
2) The dear friend mentioned somewhere in one of the blogs below, is not dear anymore!
3) WORK, WORK, WORK
4) Whats with all this rain? Grrrr....
5) A really LONG weekends coming up and I am afraid I am gonna spend it vegetating in from my TV... any ideas peoples?
6) Would be married off very soon. The "Find the Son-in-Law" project in my home is on full swing! Gawd damn it!

Thats it for now. Will be blogging vvvvvv soon.
Happy Diwali/ Deepavali/ Festival of lights, everyone :)

PS: Its festival of lights and not of sound and air pollution. So light up your lives and keep the city clean :)

Maturity vs Me

2005-10-11T02:13:00.000-07:00

Do you ever wonder that you are way too grown up and mature for your own good?

Lately I have been wondering about this. Especially when I am arguing with someone or trying to prove something. Two situations where I was really good at proving that I am right and the ‘opponent’ is wrong. I could do this by hook or crook. Winning an argument no matter how silly used to come easily to me, but not any more. If you are wondering why, lemme tell you- because wisdom and maturity have caught up with me and they do not allow me to do anything unreasonable! I cant say or do anything stupid, because my heads ready with retorts like, “L*J, watta stupid thing to do!”

“I expected you be better than this.”

“What was that? That doesn’t even make sense”.

I can’t be kiddish, can’t be irritatingly naïve, can’t be a stubborn ass, can’t be a pain, cant retort, I cant even beat up people to save an useless argument! Arrrrrrgh! Arguing against my own arguments is not a good feeling.

Well, you might ask why am I getting so worked up, since all that maturity does is makes me a better person? No arguments there, I like to be a better person, I'd love to be a better human but I don’t want to be ‘GOOD’! Good is boring, good is hard, good is not that fun and good is not that good, probably in the long run, but I look for INSTANT gratification.

Right now my heads going “Huh? L*J, now why would you write something like that?”

My worst fears have come true… I am being mothered by my OWN head : (

Makes sense

2005-10-05T23:54:00.000-07:00

Life's Little Instruction Book

Have a firm handshake.

Look people in the eye.

Sing in the shower.

Own a great stereo system.

If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.

Keep secrets.

Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.

Always accept an outstretched hand.

Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.

Whistle.

Avoid sarcastic remarks.

Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery.

Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.

Lend only those books you never care to see again.

Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.

When playing games with ! children, let them win.

Give people a second chance, but not a third.

Be romantic.

Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.

Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for your convenience, not the caller's.

Be a good loser.

Be a good winner.

Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.

When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.

Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.

Keep it simple.

Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.

Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.

Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets

Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the one's you did.

Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.

Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.

Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else ! ! choose it for you.

Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes.

Begin each day with some of your favorite music.

Once in a while, take the scenic route.

Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, 'Someone who thinks you're terrific.'

Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.

Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m.

Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.

Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.

Make someone's day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.

Become someone's hero.

Marry only for love.

Count your blessings.

Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.

Wave at the children on a school bus.

Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people.

Don't expect life to be fair.

-H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Bliss

2005-10-04T02:33:00.000-07:00

It is extremely rare that you find someone who is so much like you, that you are willing to push your twin over the mountain. I met one such guy this weekend.

He listens to music I like

He loves food

He loves beer

He loves bikes

He loves long rides

He loves ‘pulling peoples leg’

He understands every one of my jokes

He knows when to laugh and when to shut up

He knows what ‘TMI’ means

He knows how to take a hint

He knows when work stops and fun begins

And what takes the cake, cookies, bakery and all is that, we can actually talk for hours and hours!

Now is this awesome or is this awesome?

Life’s blissssssss since then…

Why me Lord?

2005-09-15T04:17:00.000-07:00

I have been having this raging debate about one of the mails I forwarded to a mutual friends yahoo groups. The mail was a comparison between the relief efforts taken after the Mumbai floods and Katrina (the hurricane, you moron)!

The mail claimed that we (Indians) were the winners on the basis of faster action, lesser deaths and better relief measures. The debate started right then, that the mail was illogical and immature, to pitch two natural disasters against each other to claim national superiority! Anyways I will spare you the details of the debate and come to the point of this blog. (Just that you know, my stand was Government apathy and theirs was nail L*J to the tree!!)

What started out as a patriotic ego boost, ended up shaking me up completely!

Right now the entire debate has become futile, I don’t even care if I win or lose! What I do care about is my life, my family’s life, my city, my people, my country, etc etc!

After reading about the Apathy the Bush government showed while handling this disaster, a lotta my values and beliefs have been shaken up.

I have been overwhelmed by fear, pity, anger and despair! Fear of being unprepared and gullible, pity on those who are suffering these things, anger because my life is nothing to the government/ society/ world/ all galaxies and despair because in natures eyes none of these discriminations matter, her fury is impartial!

Since the time I could read and think (yup it started only when I started collecting garbage from outside), I have always thought about how insignificant I am. My science teacher etched this fact in me quite well by saying that I am a pili on a bacteria, nuzzled under the appendage of a moth, floating on the drop of water, resting on the leaf of a giant red wood, in the Americas, if the galaxies were our milky way!

I know I am that insignificant in this giant make of things!

But I know I am valuable inspite of my laziness, ignorance, hopelessness and uselessness, I don’t know how I am important but I AM, ok? No dispute there. (Here ‘I’ is everybody Ofcourse, haha )! And this ‘me’ will be gone in a poof because of someone’s gradation of whether I am important or not!

Now I could go on about what’s lacking in Indian government, how people are not involved, what’s wrong with our society, blah blah blah!

But I am not gonna do that, I am just gonna conclude by saying “Each woman/man for themself”

Your life is too precious to be protected by family, society, government or humanity! Protect yourselves. Get a gun, buy a boat, build an underground safe house, rent an island and make a pact with god or the devil whoever suits your final destination. (I mean what’s the point in going to heaven if you cant be bad, right?)

Now you are asking, ‘Okay L*J so far I have read your ranting but, what’s the point?’
The point is simple-

Don’t get philosophical and blabber about your insignificance and fragility of human life!

You know why? Because thinking about these things will kill you faster than the actual things itself.

So enjoy the small things in life, help out your brethren in need and believe equality is not skin deep.

PS: BUSH I HOPE YOU ROT IN DEPTHS OF THE BANGALORE SEWAGE SYSTEM!!!

Wadddaaaaa

2005-09-13T21:49:00.000-07:00

What if some looooooooooooong lost acquaintance of yours, who you met for a miilisecond, ages ago, who is a friends friends friends friend, calls you up, bugs you day and night asking you to meet him and finally when you give in and decide to meet him, the ONLY thing he talks about is 'what are the job prospects in the field that you are working in?' ( since his sister has just joined college).
And then, yes there is more, asks you to pay for his lunch?

Will that get you pissed?

A page from “Weirdos in my Life”

-A semi-autobiographical epic saga, by L*J

Sheeeesh Was that Sad!

2005-09-01T23:05:00.000-07:00

You know guys, the best source of high in the world is a shandy of beer and sadness! Yes you heard it right, two pints of beer and a heart full of sadness gets you sooooooo bloody high, actually more than the same two pints of beer and rollicking laughter!

I know all you kindhearted people are wondering why is LJ sad? Boooohooooo, I’m sad cos one of my best friends who also happens to be one of my coolest colleague and partner in crime, is moving out of Bangalore. He is gonna be a PhD in a few years and I am really truly happy for this dude! But then he also happens to be in this big list of friends who ditched Bangalore in search of greener pasture. And I am left behind all alone to chuck peanuts at strangers on MG road!

If this isn’t sad then what is?

Anyways, so yesterday we were in this place that Su calls ‘home’, drowning our sorrow and celebrating his good luck(he is one of the two who were selected from 2500 people! Way to go dude), and a great career n life ahead. And since it was’nt yet the weekend, I couldn’t get too drunk. So I just had two pints.

Insight Huddle:

Long gone are the days, when I used to see the stars after half a mug of beer(Oh those days)! Nowadays getting sloshed is a costly affair. And since I am a serious beer fan I have always been faithful to my mojo, my beer!

But last night was different I was riding the highway to hell just after two? Haaaain?

Now that both scared and amused me. Scared because this aint happened in a very looooooooooong time and amused because my English hadn’t sounded like German, in centuries!

And all this because I was sad and a lil happy just for garnish! Too sad is too bad you see and I cant do that, because I love my life, no matter how hard it kicks me sometimes!

Anyways people heres a worthy tip throw your razors out, grow that dirty beard, don that matted hair, grab a bottle and start singing like Devdas!!

And call me when you do because I am gonna laugh my ass out watching you guys do that … haha

Ps:BTW a blonde firang was checking me out all night and even waved goodbye when he/she left! The only problem is neither me nor my friends could tell if it was a guy or a gal...hmmmm!

Morning morning!!

2005-09-01T02:50:00.000-07:00

Watta pretty pretty Bangalore morning. The suns held hostage by the clouds and there’s that dreamy creamy dawning light everywhere. Oh that fresh breeze, bringing in the aromas of pressure washed trees and roads (It rained last night), the heady morning coffee and the sweet (imaginary) smiles of my family.

Perfect! This day can never go bad…

Screeeeeeeeeech! Did I just say that too early? Gaaawd DAAAIMn it! Did I? diD I?

Now don’t wonder what happened this morning because I am gonna tell you …THAT DAAAAIMND Sandarshini guy next to my office, that’s what happened!!

Grrrr…urrrr…burrrr…whateverrrr!

Ok here’s the gist of the blog, morning morning I drop by at this Sandarshini for a peaceful breakfast of Idly and vada, and the waiter there refused to give me an extra ‘katori’ of sambhar.

I don’t know what’s with these restaurants in this side of town, they either bathe my idli with barrels of sambhar or fill a ‘micro-katori’ with two microns of sambhar and hand me a feather to paint my idly!!!!

What’s the DEAL people?

People like me who like their idli tasting like idli and sambhar tasting like sambhar, cant take this gruel, which tastes like last nights fish fry and cockroach! (Don’t ask me when did I, taste that?)

So I usually give waiters expert opinion about how the Idli and sambhar can be skillfully isolated by this magical invention called ‘Katori’!

This guy was obliging enough to glare at me and fill a tiny ‘katori’ with sambhar. And when the thought of walking back to him for a refill seemed too much of a hassle, I asked him for one more, which he plainly refused and asked me to come back when its empty. Wadddaaaaa *&$(#$*@$&(#@$#%^!@&#%^%!@!!

Anyways I foresaw a tragic end to my ‘pretty pretty’ morning, so instead of taking violent decisions™ I just stood there standing my ground! But he just ignored my demanding stare, completely!! (Grrrrrrr….)

Since I was really hungry and late to work, I didn’t bother showering abuses at him right then!! (Which on second thought seems like a very bad idea, because if I did, I would have moved on in life and spared you guys this melodrama)

Time for insight people, huddle up- I am not the kind of person who allows strangers to do/say whatever nonsense they want and let them get away with it. I am the kind who is in the “Most Unwanted List” of auto guys because I have had fights with atleast a 100 of them! My sooper fine lazer sharp stares have warded off many a jerk! I have slapped eve teasers and sacrificed my slippers to *(&(#*&*(#$ bump-ers! I can give any auto or bus driver a run for his money in the department of colloquial abuses! I just can’t take shit from people, period!

But I couldn’t let this guy ruin my ‘pretty pretty’ day! So I took my emaciated idly and constipated vada back to my table all the way muttering under my breath. I even thought about Brad Pitt in a thong just to distract myself, but the midget in my head wasn’t giving up. I could envision myself pulling out a bazooka and blowing off brain flakes of that guy, but…

Yeah I know, you are wondering, all this aggression, just because a guy snubbed me and refused to give me something I paid for? Provided bad service? Irritated me? Increased my BP? Made me prone to heart disease? Aged me earlier by a few weeks and RUINED MY DAY even before it began? Yes, I AM Pisshed and I don’t give a DAAAAIM!

Anyways I didn’t blow his brain; rather I just stuffed my mouth with that heart clogging vada and walked back to my office expecting a sooper painful Thursday!

Hmmmm…I know you are thinking, this story has no substance, it goes nowhere, you don’t care what happened and etc etc!

Well then welcome to my pretty pretty Thursday morning! (grin)

Now pull out your stones, bones and arrows, elephants, tanks and pigs and follow me to that Sandarshini! And if you are not free today, do mention when you are free in my comments and we can work out a convenient schedule?

Till then I hope you all have a great day and stay away from fluorescent pigeons, because the last I heard their radioactive poop makes people cha cha cha around flyovers, creating huge traffic jams and angry citizens, who go around selling vanaspathi instead of madren bread and ruin the tea which effects the economy of Namibia, which directly effects the ozone layer in Timbuctoo and provokes Bush to declare war on countries who don’t do the cha cha cha!

See how things are related?

Have a good day (more grin)

PS: Just back from lunch and the waiter pushed us out of the restaurant before we could sit. He said he is cleaning it (I wonder what the ‘it’ was and why was ‘it’ in a restaurant!). And then he took the order after 15min, yes I aint kidding FIFTEEN bl@@dy minutes and to add to it, he asked us to move to another table cos we were four and were sitting in a table for five! I showed him my choicest ‘finger’ and he got us the meal, bill and all!

Now this is too bizarre for a coincidence!
Should I skip dinner?

Another one of those Jox-isms!

2005-08-24T02:53:00.000-07:00

Life is difficult, full of trials, pain and sorrow,
but... if you fall down, just stand up stright, be
confident and ask..... yavano bolimaga thalliddu?

-Gunds

Heheee

2005-08-22T22:26:00.000-07:00

Colin Mochrie: You know, for as long as I can remember, I've had memories.

-Whose Line Is It Anyway

Man do I love this show : )

Here comes the Milestone

2005-08-09T22:37:00.000-07:00

I have officially reached the first milestone of my life; I have now lived for exactly a quarter of a century on this third rock from the sun. [Bowing to all the applause]

Man, has it been a great journey so far, I don’t regret anything that I have said and done… actually, I would like to edit a few things that I have said, but then, what the heck!

I landed on this planet on a dark and stormy night …or was it a blazing sunny noon, I am not exactky sure of that, because I never bothered to ask my mom about it. Anyways, the earliest memory I have is the green all around me, the green mountains, the green fields, the green people… hmmm, ok edit the green people out. all this green is my earliest memory of Mangalore. The land I was born in, the land of mountains and sea, the heaven of fish and pork, the land of the angry sun and stary skys, the land of a million flies! After this for the next four years my memory is all blurred, but I remember shitting on that uncle who used to make the ugliest of baby faces. Now fast forward to my fourth year and there I am dropping coconuts on my cousins head in Bangalore. I was a born rowdy and I am proud of it. ; )

My childhood is the best time of my life so far, except for all the injuries on others and me. School was the best part of it all. Those white washed walls and the blue and white uniforms, the super sized teachers whom we called ‘Miss’, which I will never know why because all of them were definitely married, the big tamarind tree in the playground under which we kids shared ghost stories, the lagori, hide-n-seek and lock and key,the story books and messed up scinece models, the stage on which I goofed around so much, the benches with our names carved on them and the ink spots on the roof aimed precisely by aspiring sharp shooters. Oh and all those friends, the best I have ever had.

This memory is my Neverland, my bliss and my strength.

After school, life became this fast paced hunting trip. With every year my agendas and resolutions became more mundane and dull. College passed in a jiffy and then came the time to work. And then came the realization that I am not a Police Inspector like I dreamed of being(after watching a Malashree movie) but the thing I most hated, a scientist! [waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan : (]

Actually, being grown up and ‘responsible’ is not that bad, in spite of all the hectic schedule and ass kissing and back stabbing, all the heartbrakes and tears and all the anxiety and BP rise, I still get to kick people, I still roll on the floor and laugh whenever I watch a funny movie, I still dance like nobody’s watching, I still sleep like a dog and eat like a pig and I still dream about Neverland.

Life is still beautiful for me; I smell the roses and count my blessings, everyday.

And I still have my best friend around. :)

Well, this is my first milestone and I definitely look forward to the next...

[back ground mujik]
I see trrrees of greeen, red roses toooo
I see them bloom, for me and youooo
And I think to myselllff, what a wonderrrrful woorrrld

Yes I think to mysellllff, whaaaat aaa wonderrrfuuul woooorrrrld...

Yaaawn

2005-08-02T02:37:00.000-07:00

Lost it.

What? My skill to pen blogs.

Anyway I am trying to make a come back, so please bare with me guys?

Since the last time I have blogged a lot has happened. Two of the lot are - one I have changed my company and two a lotta my old pals have been replaced by older pals.

Didn’t get the latter? I made a lot of friends last year, what with the ‘just joined orkut’ boom. But somewhere down the line a lotta them sifted out of my life and a few valuable ones stuck with me through good times and great times. Out of whom, I owe my sanity to two of them.
R & S thanks guys.

Now I am back with my older gang, the one’s I almost grew up with. They are still the same, but I have changed a lot, I guess change is good. Personally I hate change, because I am too lazy to make the necessary amends that change demands. But so far change has always been good for me, so I aint complaining much.

Why are most of my 3.00 pm blogs sad? Life is sad at 3pm… you guys should see me at 7 ;)

My new jobs going great. It offers one thing the older one didn’t, challenge!

So far so good.

Peace in the Serengeti!

2005-06-02T21:07:00.000-07:00

The two beasts accidently bumped into each other. It all happened so suddenly and screams of fear and warning filled the forest.

There paths had crossed once a long time ago and when it did, the Serengeti shuddered in fear because nobody had ever seen a bloodier encounter! Pillows flew everywhere, words were screamed in the loudest of decibles, abuses which were unheard of were yelled out layered with absolute disgust and all this sudden aggression left their family perplexed and worried!

There paths had never crossed again after that fateful day, but now it was too late. The plans of destiny could not be rewritten and hence this encounter could not be avoided.

They stared, grunted and shook the earth with their roars and all hell broke lose. For two days none of the neighbours slept, biting their nails in aniticipation, waiting to see how this bloody encounter would end. The two arch rivals fought at it tooth and nail or rather yelled abuses and huffed and puffed.

After a two day marathon of super-decibal yelling of "AAAI", "LaaaI", "Hogo Looo" "Shut up I say" and "WTF"s, everything ended just as suddenly as it had begun. The two had finally decided to settle this row by watching a movie and discussing peace over icecream.

Following which the territories were marked, the rules were set down and the 'Peace Treaty' was signed at Corner House.

Peace finally reined in the serengeti and my mom slept peacefull snoring in the background, knowing that her children had finally stopped quarelling.

he heeee heeeeeeaa ... he heeee heeeeeeaa ...

In the jungle, the mighty jungle
The lion sleeps tonight
In the jungle the mighty jungle
The lion sleeps tonight

A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh........he heeee heeeeeeaa ... he heeee heeeeeeaa ...

Man do I love his wisecracks :D

2005-05-18T02:38:00.000-07:00

Kannada is French if you sprinkle your words with 'la' and 'le' and 'bon' generously.
Yeno le, kannu kaanakkilva? Yeradu bid la? Oooohh bon bitta!

-Jax

How did it all start?

2005-05-15T21:21:00.000-07:00

Me: So why did you hold my hand on our first date?
He: I dont know!
Me: How can you not know?
He: I dont know!
Me: Now you have gotto tell me.
He: OK.....
He: Cos you were walking slow and I was just leading you.
Me: WHAT?? #$W%#^%$%^&&*#%#%$
He: OK OK stop beating me.
Me: Do u mean to say, that I was in this relationship for a year, cos you dragged me across MG road on our first date?
He: Yes :DD
Me: grrrrr.... :DD

Now THIS, I am never gonna forget!

Always knew thaaat!

2005-05-08T22:39:00.000-07:00

Your Seduction Style: The Charmer

You're a master at intimate conversation and verbal enticement.
You seduce with words, by getting people to open up to you.
By establishing this deep connection quickly, people feel under your power.
And then you've got them exactly where you want them!

Check it out

Thanks to Loonie

Practical LIfe

2005-05-08T21:46:00.000-07:00

Its been quite some time since I have given some useful gyan. So here it is-
"Most often the fear of something bad happening, is worse than the actual event".

Like, whats behind that dark closet?
Who is the killer among all these guys in this horror flick?
What is that big black thing floating in my sambar?
Shit?
Will I ever be able to move on if we break up?

I guess most of us have faced these questions and many more like them, sometime or the other. And most often than not, the fear of something going wrong is worse than the actual event. Agree?

One such fear kept me under bondage for two years. I kept myself chained to this imaginary relationship, taking on all the hardships and holding on to broken promises, for fear of not being able to cope on my own if that imaginary hand ever left me. But that day did come and it came so swiftly that I did'nt even realise that everything was over. The relief was awesome, but what was so unbelievable was the painlessness of it all. There was absolutely no regret, loss, tears or even sleepless nights. I was back to my good old self, actually much better, a state I like to call Maturity.

So guys even though it seems like an impossible task, never lose heart. You will be surprised how powerful your survival skills are.

Ok one last piece of advice before I finish this blog.
I live by this sentence everyday. Atleast I try to-
"Whatever you do, make sure that at the end of the day YOU are happy."

Happy Life guys : )

Practical Love

2005-05-04T23:10:00.000-07:00

A very dear friend once told me, that I should be very 'practical' in relationships!
Because, if I am practical and think with my head, rather than let my heart decide, I will not get hurt. He said that all that pain I put myself through is totally unnecessary. Sometimes my head tells me that too... But the romantic fool that I am, never give a damn to these warning signs.

Somehow I believe that relationships cant run on practicality. There wont be any relationships if everyone was practical. Because trying to 'fall' in love would be a very stupid act, then. Why would you willingly do something, which has such a bad reputation, such low success rates and such disastrous results?

OK, Have u ever leapt into the unknown?
Just spread your arms in the air, looked up to the sky, taken that last step of the cliff and leapt into oblivion? Well falling in love is like that. The leap is blind, the leap is impractical, the future is unsure and the past is forgotten. Most often than not that leap ends in a disaster.

But we learn to brush aside our bruises and walk on. Who knows some day we will find someone worthy enough to take a leap for, again.... Hope keeps us impractical fools alive, it keeps us going.

Never stop my friend because one leap went astray.
Learn from each, cos only then you are going to be stronger for the next and remember,
"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep."

By the way 'Practical Love' is an Oxymoron!

The most potent set of words I ever encountered

2005-05-02T04:33:00.000-07:00

After a While

After a while you learn
The subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean possession
And company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn
That kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of a woman
Not the grief of a child

And you learn
To build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is
Too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way
Of falling down in mid flight

After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers

And you learn
That you really can endure
That you are really strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn
And you learn
With every good bye you learn...

Veronica A. Shoffstall

Test from Hell

2005-04-29T22:59:00.000-07:00

Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions.
Time limit: 2 hours. Begin immediately.

Art: Given one eight-count box of crayons and three sheets of notebook
paper, recreate the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Skin tones should be
true to life.

Biology: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human
culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier,
with special attention to its probable effect on the English
Parliamentary System circa 1750. Prove your thesis.

Chemistry: You must identify a poison sample which you will find at your
lab table. All necessary equipment has been provided. There are two
beakers at your desk, one of which holds the antidote. If the wrong
substance is used, it causes instant death. You may begin as soon as the
professor injects you with a sample of the poison. (We feel this will
give you an incentive to find the correct answer.)

Civil Engineering: This is a practical test of your design and building
skills. With the boxes of toothpicks and glue present, build a platform
that will support your weight when you and your platform are suspended
over a vat of nitric acid.

Computer Science: Write a fifth-generation computer language. Using this
language, write a computer program to finish the rest of this exam for you.

Economics: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt.
Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism,
the Donatist Controversy and the Wave Theory of Light. Outline a method
for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all possible
points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as
demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

Electrical Engineering: You will be placed in a nuclear reactor and
given a partial copy of the electrical layout. The electrical system has
been tampered with. You have seventeen minutes to find the problem and
correct it before the reactor melts down.

Engineering: The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been
placed on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed
in Swahili. In 10 minutes, a hungry bengal tiger will be admitted to the
room. Take whatever action you feel necessary. Be prepared to justify
your decision.

Epistemology: Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity
of your stand.

General Knowledge: Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

History: Describe the history of the Papacy from its origins to the
present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its
Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Be brief, concise and specific.

Mathematics: Derive the Euler-Cauchy equations using only a straightedge
and compass. Discuss in detail the role these equations had on
mathematical analysis in Europe during the 1800s.

Medicine: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze,
and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until you
work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.

Metaphysics: Describe in detail the probability of nature of life after death.
Test your hypothesis.

Music: Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and
drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

Philosophy: Sketch the development of human thought. Estimate its
significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

Psychology: Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the
emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of
each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisis, Rameses II, Hammuarabi.
Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making
appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.

Physics: Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an
evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

Political Science: There is a red telephone on the desk beside you.
Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects if
any.

Public Speaking: 2500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom.
Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

Religion: Perform a miracle. Creativity will be judged.

Sociology: Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the
end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

Extra Credit: Define the universe, and give three examples.

Hold on

2005-04-25T04:30:00.000-07:00

I think I am alright
Oh yeah I am
But whats this prick in my heart
Asking me to rethink?
I dont wanna go there
I definitely wont
That road's been abandoned
Those days are faded out and forgotten
Never wanna remember the colors
The sounds and smells
None of them will remind me of him anymore
Heck I dont even remember how he looks anymore
What I do remember is
The euphoria
The fear
The tears
The relief
But what I dont remember is the goodbye.
Was there ever one, damn will there ever be one?

- Lynnie
(1999-2004)

Attack of the GE

2005-04-22T22:15:00.000-07:00

Did I ever tell you guys 'life is the biggest equalizer'? I guess I did.
It really is machaans and macheens! Well atleast for me.
What I am gonna write about today, is got nothing to do with Karma. Or probably is, well I'm not exactly sure!
Anyway back to the pint, sorry point. Nothing in my life goes unnoticed by the almighty. Ok heres an instance to get u guys warmed up to that idea.
I was sooooooooo looking forward to this date. Maaan I was really thrilled, more than thrilled, I was damn excited. In the bargain I forgot a lotta of my daily woes.......... uh oooo BIG mistake, because thats when this dude Mr GE (The Great Equalizer) drops by to gimme a dose of his totally unwanted, pain in the as.... neck, omni-irritating blessings! So what happens on the D-Day? Like some of you might have aready guessed it, everything, I repeat every F'in thing that could go wrong with that date WENT wrong!!
Unbelievable? Well believe it!

I know its silly to assume that every smile has a tear following. But when things like these keep happening in my not-so-happening-but-try-and-get-my-share-of-fun kinda life, I have no option but to just believe it yaar.

Whatever it be guys, I am not gonna stop having fun just because this psycho dude keeps following me like a credit card salesman (no offence), cos life's about living on the edge, even if its just hanging down from my balcony trying to sneak out to Haze at midnight!

How many off u'll are nodding?

2005-04-18T02:15:00.000-07:00

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can
be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

-Elizabeth Taylor

It's not always rainbows and butterflies

2005-04-15T23:36:00.000-07:00

I dont know where it leads, I dont care, I dont judge and
I know "She will be loved"


Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

Tap on my window, knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Tap on my window, knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful

I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain, oh
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Please don't try so hard to say goodbye


- Maroon 5

Happy new year

2005-04-10T22:11:00.000-07:00

Its amazing how creation/ nature/ god/ life has a way of getting us back on track. Well it definitely knows how to put me back in my place. For quite some time I have been collecting unwanted trash in my body and mind. There was no place for any change anymore. Thats what I thought!
Life caught up with me, whacked my back, made me spill all that garbage and now I am all empty and clean.
Maaaaan was last week one huge spring cleaning session. [one big sigh]

Time for a new start Lyn, this time dont make the same mistakes again or rather make them in a stylishly new way!

Gotta find me one

2005-04-04T23:17:00.000-07:00

The biggest lie you ever told - your deepest fear 'bout
growin' old
the longest night you ever spent - the angriest letter you
never sent
the boy you swore you'd never leave - the one you kissed on
new years's eve
the sweetest dream you had last night -- your darkest hour,
your hardest fight

The saddest song you ever heard - the most you said with
just one word
the loneliest prayer you ever prayed - the truest vow you
ever made
what makes you laugh, what makes you cry
what makes you mad, what gets you by
your highest hight, your lowest low - these are the things I want to
know

i wanna know you - like i know myself
i'm waitin' for you - there ain't no one else
talk to me baby - scream and shout
i want to know you - inside out
i wanna dig down deep - i wanna lose some sleep
i wanna scream and shout - i wanna know you inside out
i wanna take my time - i wanna know your mind
ya know there ain't no doubt - i wanna know you inside out
i wanna know your soul - i wanna lose control
c'mon n' let it out - i wanna know you inside out
ya gotta dig down deep - i wanna lose some slieep
i wanna scream and shout - i wanna know you inside out
tell me everything...

~Bryan Adams- The man who inspired me to pursue robotics (for a day)~

Peek-a-boo

2005-03-31T00:51:00.000-08:00

Walking down a cobbled pathway, smiling at strangers, squinting at the sky, hands in my pocket, smell of coffee in the air, head's singing a song, heart skips a beat, just saw a handsome hunk, there goes a sigh, what was that song? scratched my head, nay thats not him, tapped my head, that tune was back again, got into my groove and walked down the lane. Another day, another job, working for the interpol, is not so easy or is it?

To be continued..................

Back on track

2005-03-29T20:29:00.000-08:00

Crossroads- All of us have been there. I have been there more than once. Though its a different set of choices everytime, the fear and confusion prevail!
Making a choice at a crossroad is not just about choosing a defined path to a solution or goal, but its the choice of a different life style.

After choosing through quite a few of them, I stumbled back on one familiar road and I was so glad that I did.
There were open arms, hearty laughs and mango shakes.

I would keep stumbling back on to this familiar trail time and again, and I would leave from here with more than what I came with, everytime!

Fundoo One-liners

2005-03-28T21:52:00.000-08:00

Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.

Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.

Born free taxed to death.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking. :D

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on
your pants.

It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot.
The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.

In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

If you tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, he'll
believe you. But if you tell him that a park bench has just been painted, he has to
touch it to be sure.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

Someday is not a day of the week

Interesting

2005-03-27T20:57:00.000-08:00

Well after four days of intense religious rituals and a lovely Easter celebration, here I am with a very interesting analogy presented by one of the priests, during the Good Friday sermon.

The Seven Deadly Sins

Wealth without Work
Pleasure without Conscience
Science without Humanity
Knowledge without Character
Politics without Principle
Commerce without Morality
Worship without Sacrifice

-By Gandhi

It definitely makes you think. Thats, if you allow it!

I fit the Bill

2005-03-23T22:56:00.000-08:00

Well my Kill Bill quotient classifies me as none other than.......

Well this is about me-
You are Bill! You have some grudge issues, but other than that, you have some deep emotion and crazy martial arts skill. I'd be scared of you if I passed you on the street.

man-o-man-o-man I could'nt ask for more!!

PS: Link courtesy Jox

The perfect boss

2005-03-23T21:50:00.000-08:00

"As your leader, I encourage you, from time to time and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so, but allow me to convince you. And I promise you, right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo, except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is: I collect your fucking head. Just like this fucker here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the fucking time! ... I didn't think so."

O-Ren Ishii; played by Lucy Liu

KILL BILL(Pure adrenaline)

Can I?

2005-03-23T03:31:00.000-08:00

!!! IF !!!
*******

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream-and not make dreams your master;
If you can think-and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings-nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And-which is more-you'll be a Man, my son!

-Rudyard Kipling

Cant believe it

2005-03-23T02:51:00.000-08:00

Cant believe that things can happen anywhere and everywhere, without warning!
Cant believe that a beautiful evening can end this way!
Cant believe that we are so helpless!
Cant believe that life can swing form pure happines to total gloom in just an hour!

Last night I saw the bruised and battered body of one of my closest family member. She was injured beyond recognition. I am enraged that the car driver who knocked her down did'nt see her that way, I am enraged that he did'nt see the family weeping, he did'nt see the anguish and pain!!

'Accidents happen?' Well I dont believe that. Accidents just dont happen, they happen because of someones callousness, they happen because people disregard rules, they happen because people do not respect life, theirs and others.

A humble request to all the speed freaks- do not drink and drive, do not consider public roads as a Formula1 circuit, pedestrians are people too- they hurt more than the dent on your car or bike, driving rules are there for a reason-please follow them and please do wear a helmet, whats the point in having well combed hair when you wont have a head!

Transformation

2005-03-21T19:58:00.000-08:00

Its happening slowly, but happening for sure...... TRANSFORMATION !!

The Black week

2005-03-20T21:00:00.000-08:00

Yup the Black week (aka Passion week) is here, no matter how much I run away from it, its back, again!!
Well Black week is the week which starts with Palm Sunday and ends in Easter.
For the uninitiated Palm Sunday is the day Jesus was welcomed into Jerusalem like a saviour and sacrificed like a scapegoat on Good Friday (Crucifiction) and on Easter sunday he was resurrected.

I am not a very religious person (well atleast not anymore) but the Christian values are imbibed very deep in me, its a definite result of years of conditioning. There was a time when I could'nt do without attending sunday mass', but slowly I have overcome that obligation too (along with a lotta others). I am not exactly happy with this transition, I realised this yesterday when I entered church again, after a very very long sabbatical and I was engulfed with the same old feeling which nurtured me for quite some time, we call it the 'spirit' and I see mine is still very much alive. So I guess even though I may not be a staunch Christian, I would always be a chistian never-the-less. My mom will be happy reading this! My sudden aversion to religion shocked her immensely, the thought of me turning into an atheist was overshadowed by her worst fear, me converting into another religion!! Ma, I can never do that!

Well back to Black week. I know that its just the re-enactment of what happened some 2000 years ago, but the pain and anguish which it creates in me has never diminished. I go through this very weird (thats the only word I could think of) cycle of feelings. Which starts with gloom, to fear, to anger, to pain, to suffering, to hope and finally joy, abundant joy.
Lets see if this year is any different!

My 10 golden steps

2005-03-18T22:26:00.000-08:00

Since I ranted and raved, asking people to move on and stop being such pain in our bottoms, I thought I would also give them simple and 'exclusively free' tips on how to move on. This is my personal experience and people can take it or leave it, I give a rats bottom!

1. Firsshhtt... Stop associating all roads, shops, songs, clothes, sounds, smells, burps and things with your ex.

2.STOP JUST STOP listening to romantic songs and please chuck all those broken hearts songs in the bin, now, right now! Time to get initiated into heavy metal, people.

3.Chuck all pics of your ex in such a place that you would'nt find it for the next ten years. (By then you would have forgotten them anyway)

4.Never have any meals alone.

5.Call-up your friends who you had neglected or been extremely rude to, during.... you know when!!

6.Make new friends and lots, you need company. Never talk to them about your break-up, unless you really really really want them to know about it.

7.Work hard and party harder

8.DO NOT get into any new relationship within 3 months of break-up. Believe me you dont want that painful cycle repeating itself again and you would never be able to handle another break up. Atleast not as well as the first.

9.Get counselling or talk to friends about what you feel, take their advice seriously. But stop asking for sympathy.

And finally- the golden rule
10.LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST AS IF THERE IS NO TOMORROW

So guys keep smiling and know that we all love you, yes you : )

PS : If none of these work, come to me and I have the ultimate solution- a smack on your head with a bat!

PSS: For all those who felt that I was rude , indifferent and totally insensitive in my previous blog 'Argh', lemme tell you that I was neither. The only feeling was anger and complete anger, seeing my friends in pain and not being able to do anything. I was there once and I know how much it hurt. But my friends pulled me out and thanks to them, I am back to being a devil today.......uhahahahahahaaaaaaaaa

elp

2005-03-18T21:04:00.000-08:00

SATURADY
IS
HREE
|
AM
DIENGI
OTU
SLOWYL
SOEM
BDOY
ELP
ME
e
i
o
a
u
.
.
.
.

A MUST MUST MUST WATCH

2005-03-18T01:54:00.000-08:00

AMERICAN CHOPPERS on Discovery Travel and Living, every thursday night at 10:00.

For the uninitiated Choppers are Mans gift back to God, they are beauty and power in motion.
Cant say more, check this site for now and believe me, these heavenly machines exist!

Orange County Choppers





Slurp slurp

Passing thought

2005-03-17T22:04:00.000-08:00

Breathe in breathe out
Forget all angry thought
I wish to go for his throat
But I'll settle for a bullet in his gut!

[I know bad rhyme, but what the heck]

Arrrrrrgggggggh

2005-03-16T21:18:00.000-08:00

Is it suddenly fashionable to be heart broken?
I have seen a few of my friends whose daily goal is to walk around with that sullen face with "sheesha ho ya dil ho" kinda song repeatedly playing in their head. Lifes full of ups and downs guys, stop making a big deal out of things which "especially" dont result in anything productive.

I am just tired of asking these friends to move on. I have lost quite a few of them for asking them to make this intelligent choice and some are in the process of breaking their ties with me.
Well lemme tell you that I am not interested in shifting my career to being a counselor or agony aunt, but when u see ur perfectly normal friend acting extremely bizzare and sometimes downright 'stupid' u have gotto get your hands dirty.

The truth is guys whenever theirs a breakup, believe me its your friends and family who take the toll. They may not be as hurt as you are, but they definitely are hurt- mostly by your behaviour, your attitude to life and most often because of the pathetic state you guys put yourself into, when you think the whole worlds against you.

For many of us, friends are emotional crutches. We tell each other things that our parents would faint, if they ever heard us. Believe me when I tell you that your friends know you better than you know yourself. So stop treating us like shit whenever you guys feel like and we can help you only as much as you want to help yourself.

Almost 98% of the people I have met have got their hearts broken sometime or the other in their life time, some, more than once! Not all of us are walking around in that Devdas mode getting ourselves drunk crazy and not all of us act like suicidal maniacs.
Heres the point guys, life seems to have ended and it seems like you just cant go on, without that special someone, But believe me, "IT DEFINITELY" does.

Firstly stop putting all your hopes and dreams on that one person. Remember after all she or he is human. They are also governed by laws of physics and society. They also hurt and feel, they also have families and friends, they also have a life. Secondly, remember that you have a life too and that there are people who have all their hopes on you. Remember that you only have one life, dont waste your precious youth by putting on all this unnecessary misery and pain. Not many people get that one chance to turn their lives around. Let it not be too late guys, you can sulk later in hell. RIGHT NOW is the moment to do the things you wanted to do, right now is the time to fly and touch the sky.

Life goes on guys, its high time you caught up with her

So stop being such babies, grow up and be mature to choose happiness over misery. And please stop being a pain in the lives of your family anf friends

Move on, oh please move on!

We pray to thee

2005-03-15T20:44:00.000-08:00

Our Lager, which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy fame.
Thy will be drunk, I will be drunk,
At home, as it is in heaven.
Give us this day, our foamy head,
And forgive our spillage,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the Ale, the Pilsner and the Lager
Forever and ever

Barmen.

(Anon)

Ru heres to that first sip of heaven : )

We the people

2005-03-12T00:41:00.000-08:00

Are'nt procrastinators the most hopeful people in the world?
I mean we know that there is 'always' a tomorrow, we also know that work WILL be done against all odds and we are the only people who go to sleep knowing that we will wake up.
Apart from that we learn to live for today, we push all unnecessary hassles and burdens to the future, to keep our today happy and relaxed. We know that we need to give more priority to us than work that way our priorities are straight too. We also live our lives to the fullest because our tomorrows are always loaded.
We are the survivors



Disclaimer: These views 'may' be purely fictional, also note that this blog was created on a saturday, at work, at 3 in the noon.

Kinda liked this poem

2005-03-11T21:02:00.000-08:00

Aisi Apni Wife ho
5'2" Jiski height Ho,
Jeans Jiski Tight Ho,
Chehara Jiska Bright Ho,
Weight Mein Thodi Light Ho,
Umar Me Difference Slight Ho,
Thodi See Wo Quiet Ho,
Aisi Apni Wife Ho.

Sadak Per Sab Kahe Kya Cute Ho,
Bhid Me Sab Kahe Side Ho , Side Ho,
India Ki Paidaish Ho,
Sas Ki Seva Jiski Khwahish Ho,
Aisi Apni Wife Ho.

Padosi Jab Baat Kare To Haath Me Knife Ho,
Dinner Candle Light Ho,
Dono Me Na Kabhi Fight Ho,
Milne Ke Baad Dil Delight Ho
Hey Prabhu Teri
Archana Uski Life Ho.
Yeh Kavita Padhke Sab Kahe
"Guru, Tum Right Ho"
Aisi Apni Wife Ho

Kaash Yeh Concept 0.0001 Percent Bhi Right Ho,
Agar Aisi Apni Wife Ho To
Kya Hasin Life Ho Har Kisi Ki Yahi Farmaish Ho,
Kudrat Ki Bhi Aajmaish Ho
Khudah Ke Software Mein Bhi Bug Ki Na Gunjaish Ho,
Ay Kaash,
Kahin to Ek Aisi Paidaish Ho, Aisi Apni Wife Ho
-Anon

Probably bcos I (dont) fit the bill : )

I have a few

2005-03-10T21:34:00.000-08:00

Close friends-
Who you can really abuse and not run for cover : )

Halt

2005-03-10T02:03:00.000-08:00

Life's come to a strange kinda halt these days. Everything has stopped. Its like a ghost town.
No fun, no friends, no blogs, now interest, no money....screeeeeeech, No MONEY!!!
Haan! There it is! NO money, no wonder me aint happy!!
I should really 'try' hard and stop blowing all my cash, early in the month or are my suspicions finally coming true....hmmmm... I know ICICI is robbing my money!
Well my head says go with the latter.

Talking about my head, I think its trying to get rid of me. Did you ask 'why'?
Thats cos I have been keeping an eye on it (not literally) and I have noticed that it always says the wrong thing at the wrong time. Here are a few instances-
It asks me to jump off the building when I stand next to an open window
It asks me to touch live wires, just for fun
It tells me that I am a natural flier
It asks me to kick dogs and convinces me that I can out-run them
It asks me to slap my boss and see how he promotes me immediately
And many more things which it has cleverly erased out of my hard drive!!

To add to this woe, I just discovered that I am Schizophrenic!
Did u again ask 'why'?
I read the symptoms today and it matched perfectly with how I feel nowadays-

Hallucinations, severely inappropriate emotional responses, disordered thinking and concentration, erratic behavior, as well as social and occupational deterioration

Hey WAIT a sec....
Thats how all my friends feel!!
:O

*************
Todays gyan

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour.
Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.

THAT'S relativity.

- Albert Einstein

Courtesy-Su
**************

Mujik in my head:

Give it to me baby,
uh hu, uh hu
Give it to me baby,
uh hu, uh hu
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seis...

Seabiscuit

2005-03-05T04:09:00.000-08:00

Watched Seabiscuit last night and I just have one word to describe this movie, AWESOME. Just awesome.
Here are some reasons why -

George Woolf: "You want to know what I think?"
Charles Howard: "Of course."
George Woolf: "It's better to break a man's leg than his heart."

Tom: "You don't throw a whole life away just because it's banged up a little."

Charles: "Red you can't do it, you'll be crippled for the rest of your life."
Red: "I was crippled for the rest of my life. I got better. He made me better. Hell, you made me better."

Charles: "Our horse is too small. Our jockey's too big. Our trainer's too old. And I'm too dumb to know the difference!"

Charles:"Everybody loses a couple. And you either pack up and go home or you keep fighting!"

Red to Seabiscuit: "Don't stop boy! Don't ever stop!"

Charles: "Well I think we just gave him a chance. Sometimes all somebody needs is a good chance."

Tick Tock: "$100,000? Makes me wanna walk on all fours and put a saddle on my back."

Charles: "See, sometimes when the little guy doesn't know he is a little guy, he can do great big things."

Charles: "You are all here today because this is a horse that won't give up. Even when life beats him by a nose."

Red: "Jesus Christ.I wanna be a horse."
Tom: "You know you're almost big enough."
Red: "That's very funny."

Charles: "Just because we're little doesn't mean we're scared."
Charles: "Oh by the way, the horse doesn't know he's little. He thinks he's the biggest horse out there."

Marcela about Biscuit: "Seems pretty fast."
Tom: "Yeah. In every direction."

Red Pollard: You know, everybody thinks we found this broken-down horse and fixed him. But we didn't. He fixed us; every one of us. And I guess in a way, we kinda fixed each other too.

A must watch guys. This is not just a movie but an experience.
And at the end of the movie if you are really driven to buy a horse, just wait it out!!

Seabiscuit

!!

2005-03-04T02:40:00.000-08:00

Should write everyday. Should have a new blog ready every single day!!
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn , will write tomorrow!!

A storm is all I foresee

2005-03-04T00:39:00.000-08:00

Yes it hurts when you dont call
when you dont speak
when you dont care
It hurts more when you are not there

Sorry if you are everything I love
all that I crave
all that I want
I am sorry that you are not who you were

You came like a breeze
So gentle and so sweet
You wanna leave like one
But a storm is all I foresee

I cant hold on but I wont let go
Time trickles down, like blood on my brow
I am gonna wait this out or
I'm gonna end this right now

A storm is all I foresee, its gonna wash you out and me . . . .

Everyday blade

2005-03-01T01:53:00.000-08:00

Most of the blogs I have read, talk about what the blogger does on a daily basis, I mean their blogs are their journals, while here I am trying to live one adventure after the other just so that I could make it to my blog!!
So I'm gonna make all my readers go though similar torture and let them use their already wasted neurons to store my (best seller) biography, except that I'll try to keep it as funny as possible with occasional butt cracks [grin]

Ok lemme start with today morning, I woke with the same feeling I wake-up everyday- 'waaaaaaaan I dont wanna go to work', but the thought of the axe-murderer aka the ever congenial sales man making rounds of my locality after 10 made me get off my comfy nest and reach office 'on time'. [collegues wide eyed and my director being revived from his heart attack. 'Now, now people get back to work, miracles happen!!]

Did'nt feel like doing much today so I just wandered around the hallowed portals of orkut and s-crapped in anybodys book I could find. A few were courteous enough to reply back. Then made some digs at my collegue M and she obliged with me having some more fun on her behalf. Then I dug up a few blogs and gave myself a healthy dose of gyan.

Did I mention M? Man theres something very scary about her these days.
I'm the kind who just walks by, spreads a few laughs, usually at someone elses expense and moves on. Nowadays my watering hole is M, but she is turning out to be a lil unpredictable. Recently at a concert she turned into a T.Rex, no kidding people, she really did! She just turned into the snappity snap T.Rex and who got it all back?? Poor me [yeah for once] And today at lunch I got a darshan of her fangs again and a butt pinch. grrrrrr.....
Sorry to disappoint you guys but most gals dont walk around in lingerie, pinching chicks butts and jiggling b@@ties in the rest rooms as shown in movies.
The truth is we go there to check on our spaceships, the ones which will take us back to our galaxy. The armageddon is near and all traces of testrosterone is gonna be destroyed.... oops, did I say too much!!

A lotta people have turned snappy nowadays, is it the weather or is it the month end?? I'll never know.
Anyway heres the joke i promised-

M.K.Shyamalan decided to make a movie.He wanted Bruce Willis to act in it.So he paid Bruce a visit.

Now Bruce was a rich man and he bought a big palatial bunglow.A few days after he had moved in,he made an unusual friend who had been living in the bunglow for scores of years.

After Shyamalan had been let into Bruce's house,he made himself comfortable.He was impressed by these spooky settings and decided that Bruce was the man.While he was thinking about this,he heard a noise behind him.

He turned around saying , "Bruce,I think you are the.......".

What greeted him was a sheet of ectoplasm.And then the ectoplasm spoke, " Hi! My name is Casper and I would like to be friends with you."

As Bruce was coming down the stairs,he caught sight of Manoj who was running at breakneck speed screaming "I seeee dead people!! I see dead people!!!"

And he was never to be heard from again.

-This was posted by Rohit
(my new blog god)

Anyway thats it for today (phew) Evening i'm meeting Su who is treating me to Death by chocolate (DBC) at Corner House. My record is still unbroken- eating DBC in less than 15min. Tonight the champion might break her own.

PS:
In Lyn's house....
But maa, it was just an icecream.
-U know u had fever last night, right??
Maa did u know that a cow has four stomachs??
-Cant u ever stop talking about food and stomach??
: )

Just like that

2005-02-24T01:02:00.000-08:00

I supposedly have a mans brain trapped in a womans body!!!

Yup ahaaan, I know what ur thinking and nooooo I'm not a transvestite and neither am I a tom boy (even though I was called that by one of my friend, who believes in speaking only the truth, only to me and only when it hurts me).
Anyway how did I come to discover this?? By a 5 question quiz which appered in one of the late night TV shows. I dont exactly remember what the questions were but it generally dealt with cars, sex, logic and stuff!

I was'nt exactly sure whether I should be happy or sad, after the results were announced.
So I did what I always do, presented this dilemma to a friend and he gave me this "Are you WHaCKed?" look. I should have stopped there, but nope the 'never say die sherpa' in me went ahead and explained the reason as to, why I came to his conclusion?
After a brief moment of what looked like he was thinking, (rather was just checking out this thing in short skirts) he said "You are the perfect WO/MAN". This time it was my turn to give the "Are you WHaCKed?" look back to him, but since he was driving I just asked 'why' ?
Then came the gyan....... I'm a rare soul which every man dreams of and which every woman wishes for........ I think like a man a and feel like a woman!!

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Well I had to give this pause to let the reality sink in, people.

There are all the tell tale signs if u ask me -
I joke like a man and I laugh like a woman
I beat-up people(read men) like a man and feel sorry later like a woman (ok now put those hands down guys...both of 'em)
I eat like a man and I burp like a woman (except once)
I talk like a man but I walk like a woman
So...... the final analysis is that "I think like a man and feel like a woman"

I'm what the worlds been waiting for, guys. Well apart from a tax free society ofourse!!
No more 'what women want?' and 'why men are such pigs?' kinda questions!
No more Martian, Venusian, Andulasian deviations.

I really have'nt worked out the consequences of this discovery yet, but I'm sure it involves words like-
future, race, no nonsense, humorous, ultra intelligent, super cool, like Lynate...!!

Anyway be assured guys that, I aint gonna let all this get to my head, I'm still gonna be the same old Lyn, just that now you will have to contact my secretary to take an appointment to meet me : )

Quarter Life Crisis

2005-02-16T03:57:00.000-08:00

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going

along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many

things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You

start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or

two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are

now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those

friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the

greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost

touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't

recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really

cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as

you.

You look at your job...and it is not even close to what you

thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and

realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and

that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing

and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you

realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are

constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and

what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh

and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and

scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and

cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the

past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to

do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could

do such damage to you. Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't

meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or

maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure

out why you are doing this because you know that you aren\'t a bad

person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting

wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go

through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk

with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to

make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and

making a life for yourself.....and while winning the race would be

great, right now you\'d just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to

it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as

hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

----By an anonymous kindred soul

When I read this it seemed like as if someone stalked me day and night and wrote these lines. Then I realised that quite a few of us are stuck here, being twenty something..... where the carefree years are gone and the bright but sometimes bleak future beckons!

Thanks Ajay for forwarding this to me decades ago

Instant literature

2005-02-09T02:30:00.000-08:00

This was written by my good friend Sunayana and it was too good to be left in my comment box.

Down the memory lane

Yesterday- when i look back
i give myself a smile
what pleasant memories
that make it worth a while

sit there nostalgic
thinking of all things old
oh yes they were fun
and can be a zillion times retold

footprints in the sand
i hear that old familiar tune
takes me down memory lane
to graduation day- that june!

old days were old days
complete carefree with all bliss
but until i move tomorrow past them
i wont realise their worth which i'd miss

Thanks Su :)

Down memory lane

2005-02-07T23:47:00.000-08:00

Was talking to an old friend today and man did it feel good. What is it with these old friends :)?
(aka chaddi dosths)
These are the guys who were there on those boring sunday noons when i needed to get through all that vela time. Later spent playing kirket on the road or just 'hanging around', those lovely moon lit evenings spent crooning on the guitar on someones terrace a, those hungry mornings spent sharing a 1 by 2 coffee or a 'benne masssalle' in Sandarshini- with those memorable butter stains on the roof, aimed to precision by our top notch 'benne' shooters- (Now u know why they give butter on masala dosa), when kallekai was our staple diet and we swore by Gandhi seats in theatres....
Those much awaited birthday parties when we made sure the 'cheap guest' would get a free facial and conditioning, the games, the pjs, the music, the noise, the (live)frogs and lizards wrapped as gifts, the unadulterated fun....life was totally bindaas!

Now work has taken precedence over everything, no time for a quiet coffee or a rendezvous on someones terrace.
Its hard to get everyone together.
Some married, some abroad, some just plain disinterested!!
But then the memories are worth it, are'nt they?

Kya Punch Mara

2005-01-29T04:24:00.000-08:00

Maaaan this has gotto be the most memorable day at work.
Heres why.

At 4:00 on this sleepy lazy saturday afternoon, our brilliant techie came up with a sleezy idea:

Hi guys,
We are looking out for a punch line to be included on the T-shirt, so please mail me the punch lines (I know it is saturday but I think you can rake up your grey cells for some time). Winner will be decided by our panel of judges, their decision will be final.

And man did we rake:

Here are the gems-

"Non-profit T-SHIRTS from not-for-profit organization "

"Life is Beautiful"
So is our t-shirt
:-)

"Copy followed by paste"

"IOB A lean mean Database minting machine"
"Food (coupons) after starvation"

"I am so broke I can't even pay attention!!!!!!!"

"Problem with simple things is they are difficult to understand."

"We The Annotators"
"We The Reviewers"

IOB: Kal ho naho
IOB: Kya kaheyn
IOB: Kuch nahi hota hai
IOB: Kyun Lag gai naa

"Only place where u find "MANUAL AUTOMATION"

"WE LOOK INTO YOUR JEANS" (no comments)

"We redo things"

"We control and C, we control and P"

"IOB: I Own Bioinformatics"

"We spill the beans 'bout your genes."

"IOB.... A lean, mean GENE machine !!"

'Way to permanent head damage.......PhD

"IOBIAN: Irritation Of Bum In A Nutshell"
"Idiots Observing Biology In A Nutshell."
"Indians Observing Biology In Akhilesh's Nest"
(Akhilesh is our boss)

"Genetics for fanatics"

"Genes for Jeans"

"Genetic imprints for the really slow'

"Biology bytes, computer bites"

'Investing in biology...shows doesn't it!'

"Science till you are senseless."

"Unzipping the DNA of life"

"If u understand this, ........ please explain"

"The creator,preserver and destroyer........All found here"

"Paying it forward..it wont stay here anyways!"

"Science for life, but not for livelihood"

"Annotate, review and reannotate"

"Please bear with our work"

"Annotating jhad ke piche!!!"

"Understanding biology : our never ending Odyssey"

"We redo things"

"Uncorking life's bottle of Genie, the Genes !" (what was he thinking??)

And finally a sad caption won-
'Crackin the code of Life'

OK guys in the future if I ever turn violent, blame it on this caption!!

Salwar Saga

2005-01-28T01:02:00.000-08:00

A week dedicated to my salwars (and kameezas, dupattas, chudis, suits, chun... okay u got the point), the indian (??) answer to the international cloth shortage (pun intended)!

After some deliberation and dreamless nights, the sight of rotting salwars in my cupboard motivated me to dedicate an 'entire' week to them. So here I am waking up an entire half hour early, just to do that one thing all the decision challenged women supposedly do every morning, morning after morning, all around the world- Stare at their wardrobe in quiet adoration and utter confusion!!
And after I make the mind numbing decision of what goes with what and where,there comes the arduous task of 'ironing' them.
I'd rather prefer nailing my clothes to the wall, eternally creasefree u see!!
I have always had this aversion to ironing clothes, have been doing it all my life though. Is it that heavy ironbox? Or is it that creased cloth? Or is it that electric shock (grr...thanks for ur wiring dad!!)
Anyway when they invented Creasefree, I threw a huge treat, for myself, at Leela.

And thats not all, then comes the assortment of ear rings and bangles and sandles (gawd) and bindis and scrunchies and pins and I forgot the rest!

You might ask, being a woman why am I making a big deal of this??
Thats because i'm one of those rare (but now getting quite common) creatures, who if u seemed to pass by someday and saw me in a salwar suit, would faint in disbelief!!
Got the picture?

My life was blissful until the last week.
[flashback] Wake up half hour before my office bus could leave.
Do the needful in the needful rooms.
Then pull out the first jean's and t-shirt, which is at my nearest reach (wear them) and run (perverts!!) for the bus.

[sigh] Those days.

Well your next question would be if ur comfortable in them. then stick to jeans??
But my dear friend if u live in the 'real' world and not the set of Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, family pressure, peer pressure, cultural pressure and national pressure would be the words you'd be familiar with!!
And moreover nobody likes to be stereotyped, so here i'm stepping into the brave new world of metres of flowing cloth tucked, hemmed, embroidered, printed and starched, with a million different neck lines, most of them looking like something I would never write about. (My cousin and I have such a ball looking at these designs)

I'm not against salwars or for that matter, even sarees but, the extreme amount of care which goes into wearing them and the feminine grace and charm I'm supposed to ooze when I'm in them whether in rain, snow, sultry sun or climbing a mountain bare feet- thats where my problem starts!
Now, not all our lives are a car to carpet tale, are they?
Firstly I have to squeeze thyself in the cramped gaps of the so called public transport vehicle in my ironed salwar kameez, then do some acrobatics and ballet and hang on to the rod with just the toes on the ground!!
Then slap and yell at a few worthless souls and wake a few shameless oration champions from the ladies seat.
Then achieve the herculean task of getting out at the right stop, with the bus still stationary and then pull out my limbs, bag, dupatta, sandals (both mine), wig, etc etc

There goes my grace and charm!!

Now lemme talk about jeans and shirts...wah wah.
A Symbol of comfort, durablility, ease and fexibility.
(Keep the tight fits, embroidered and ones made up of rags and costing a bomb thingie- out of this list!)
I am hosting a shawl giving, garland putting, long speechy, lamp lighting types ceremony for that guy/gal who ever invented them.

Talking about tight fits, I have a few ultra-basic questions-
*How do u guys/gals get into them??
Do u wear them when u were the leanest and never take em off??
*Do u guys ever bend, stretch, climb, bow or even sit in them?
Call me I'd like to watch u all
*At the end of the day, how do get out of it?
U do right?

Ok back to my 'comfort fit' jeans
Climb a wall, kick a guy where u aim, ride a bike, squat, sleep or just chumma sitma.....they are all purpose, i say!!
My romance with T's and Jeans has been life long, i hope to keep it that way
My life long dream is to have a crime fighting elite team in purple- jeans and lycra- outfit.I'll spare u the unnecessary details like agenda, villians and weapons now. Interested parties can drop in their comments down somewhere here. The more comments u write, the more I will re-consider :)

Anyway, lemme run to the loo now and see whether my kajal has smudged or my bindi has tranformed into a sun-dial...
Hey WHERES my DuPatta??

PS: Next release, 'Saree- a boon or curse' ??

x (

2005-01-27T03:43:00.000-08:00

It took *#@%in half hour for this page to open, now I have lost all my trains and lorries of thought!!

Little Things

2005-01-22T02:29:00.000-08:00

Why does a childs innocent face makes my head empty and my heart brim with love?
Why does that hug makes me sigh in relief?
Why does that one pat on the shoulder, lifts me from gloom and gives me hope?
Why does that one face makes my heart skip a beat, everytime?
Why do some people hurt me so much when they say so little?
Why does that one song makes me cry?
Why does rain make me dance?
Why does a call from that one person, gets me excited?
Why is that one name so special?
Why do i look around when I hear that familiar voice?
Why does that familiar symphony remind me of a kind face?
Why do i smile at strangers when ever I smell that familiar perfume?
Why do I hate her for hurting me but forgive her in a flutter of an eye?

These are the little things that make our lives so interesting, so livable.
In this world full of pain, betrayal, crime and violence, these little things still make us smile and give us hope.
I'm greatful for all the generous souls in my life who think about me every minute and thank god for creating me, who do anything for my comfort and happiness, who are selfless enough to put me before them.
Thank you

Happpiiieeee New Year

2005-01-13T03:02:00.000-08:00

Another eventful year chucked away into the year book.
Man was this year EVENTFUL!!!
Marked with rock, booze, work, lots and lots of friends and personal triumph.
After all that I have been through last year I can proudly say I have emerged a "WINNER".
[astounding applause]

I have scaled the mount everest, I have travelled across the sahara using snow dogs and reached the south pole on a bicycle, I have tarvelled around this planet in three dimensions, I have.. I have I have.. oh yes I have ........

Ok now the most memorable event-
[narration mode]
On a hot sultry afternoon, I receive a mail from a very unlikely source. This collegue of mine mailed me an invite to something called orca.....arket.....orekit or something!!
I knew this was a scam instantly. I mean why would someone who does'nt even remember my name send me an invite to some "social networking group" in all camaraderie???!
I deleted that mail instantly and eyed that gal for signs of envy or ridicule for a few days (ok ok a few hours), but none appeared.
Again on another sultry afternoon, when the spiders in my head sang "They spun a web for me" over and over again , I fished out this deleted mail b4 I could start oozing out web-goo outta my orifices. And then it happened, I logged into .......tan tan ta daaaaan ............... *O*R*K*U*T*
[rolling drums and blasting trumpets]

Uske baad tho meri life ban gayi yaar,
Day or night, dusk or dawn, no one I mean no one could keep me away from this magical land of friends and communities, scraps and testimonials, dates and disasters.
Like i said b4 " meri tho life ban gayi yaaaaaaarr"

[senti mode]
I have to thank ORKUT a million times for what its given me, firstly friends- some so close that I would'nt forget them for life - joy, companionship, like minded devils like me, laughter, a reason to come to work, memories and so much self-worth.

So here I am a proud winner, a lucky survivor dedicating the year 2004 to all my friends -
new and old [sniff sniff], my family -all old, my neighbours, my bus driver, the sweet auto guys, the kamala stores uncle, the ever smiling office attendant Jayamma, the restaurant owners in ITPL who sustain me and at last but not the least my mobile phone siemens 550 who inspite of completing silver jubilee in touchdown over soil and rock, marble and wood, carpet and tar has still been very faithful to me.
Thank you, thank you all.
[blowing my nose into my t-shirt]

P.S: I just heard that I am gonna be promoted to Scientist (from trainee) in a few days
Feeling good, feeling very very good ; )

Those hands

2004-12-06T03:36:00.000-08:00

Cold hands reach out to me
In the midst of darkness
Makes me lifeless and numb

I shudder in fear and run away
Never to be caught in those painful memories again
The past stares at me and my future is a tunnel of fear
I dont need a hand, I just need answers

Dark nights and darker days
I run around in circles
The illuson of life and laughter, shadowed by pain

And the silent night fills up with a faint voice....

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,

Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
...Wish you were here.

Somewhere in this commotion a flickering warmth glows
Pierces my soul and flows around
I savour this sweet pain and beg for that hand to hold on
That hand which is so warm now

I smile and dance, I jump and oh i'm in such a trance
The hand leads me on and it never lets go

Time stops and I'm counting only the beats of my heart
And then the beats slow down and die
I'm afraid now, the hand is cold again
Oh so cold

Lead me on in the darkness, I beg thee warm hand
Nothing makes sense without you, you know so
Sweet necter of life hold me close to you and never let go
Hold me close, so close.

-I miss you
Lost Puppy

Word Magic

2004-12-01T22:16:00.000-08:00

There is pleasure in the pathless woods

There is pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep Sea, and music in its roar,
I love not Man the less, but Nature more,
From these our interviews, in which I steal,
From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel,
What I can ne'er express, yet cannot all conceal.





-Lord Byron

(Thanks Aj for forwarding me this)

*************************************************************************************

Ironic

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
Isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

-Alanis Morissette

*************************************************************************************

My childhood fav-

Daffodils

	  I wandered lonely as a cloud

      That floats on high o'er vales and hills,

      When all at once I saw a crowd,

      A host, of golden daffodils;

      Beside the lake, beneath the trees,

      Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.



      Continuous as the stars that shine

      And twinkle on the milky way,

      They stretched in never-ending line

      Along the margin of a bay:                             

      Ten thousand saw I at a glance,

      Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.



      The waves beside them danced; but they

      Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:

      A poet could not but be gay,



      In such a jocund company:

      I gazed--and gazed--but little thought

      What wealth the show to me had brought:



      For oft, when on my couch I lie

      In vacant or in pensive mood,                         

      They flash upon that inward eye

      Which is the bliss of solitude;

      And then my heart with pleasure fills,

      And dances with the daffodils.

-William Wordsworth

*************************************************************************************

Rando-Rambling

2004-11-29T03:11:00.000-08:00

*Heard from Ay that I have a million thoughts in my head. But did he know that almost all of them are about food??!

* The Doors (rock group) were called The Windows before microsoft sued them.
-Ay :D

*My saddest moment is because of someone closest to my heart

*Since a blogger has been awarded with the supreme power to include anything, everything n nothing in her blog I shall proceed to do the same.

*Fun is had only when there is a lot of work to be done!! Procrastination adds value to fun!

*Is first impression actually very important??
Sometimes yes and sometimes no.
If he is funny I'm ready to give him another chance!!

*Does anybody know the real me?? Do I ?? :o

*What is the speed of darkness?

*Food is the way to my head!!

*Can I be all powerful and still sane?

*Why is the grass always greener on the otherside?

*Humankind is a virus on earth!

*People complete me.

*Why do my feet tap without my knowledge when there's music around??

Fell in love with a voice

2004-11-27T01:03:00.000-08:00

It was one of those boring wednesday mornings when I was stuck at work doing the only thing I hated the most ....work! The only hope was the approaching weekend!
Browsing around I noticed this scrap on my brand 'new' orkut account which said-
"Liked your profile, can I add you as my friend??"
I wrote back "Yeah sure, why not?!!"

We started mailing since then and the fact that he was a perfect stranger with a face of a cartoon did'nt bother me!! I wondered-'Big deal, I was bugged and I would have done anything to save my brain from ceasing to exist because of lack of much needed"FUN" (which is anything but work)

After mailing for the rest of the week he seemed to be a 'normal' guy with no past criminal records and the mailing continued with complete zest for another week and now the urge to talk to that person behind the picture grew stronger, so we exchanged phone numbers.

The first time he called I was blown away. That voice oh yeah that heavenly voice.
First day we spoke for a few minutes, the next day for half hour and the next day an hour and then came the days we would call each other every hour!! I would wait for his call everyday and everytime the phone rang I'd be on cloud nine.

There was this strange comfort in his voice which soothed me. We'd talk nonsense for hours just to hear each others voice. That voice cheered me up, sometimes gave me hope, never made feel lonely and most of all helped me overcome things which I thought I would never letgo! That voice pulled me out of all the painful memories and helped me look at life with hope of a better tomorrow, a happier me and a life of friends and companionship. I still associate that voice with peace and comfort

Since then we have met several times, we know quite a lot about each other. We have shared memories that even my closest friends do not know about, we have become quite predictable, we have fought, argued and sometimes even been a pain. But even now when I ring him -when I I'm down or I'm confused or just plain bugged- his voice still has the same magic.

Yes I'm still in love with that voice, the voice of a stranger no more!

Lost my muse

2004-11-22T01:47:00.000-08:00

With all this monotony, hectic life, loadsa (non-stimulating) work and lack of social interaction, I have lost my muse.
Like my friend Aj quoted from fight club today-

You're young. You have an easy, well-paid deskjob. You have a condo,
Swedish furniture, artistic coffee tables and a fridge full of
condiments. Yet you feel emotionally and spiritually empty. You
eventually find comfort in going to support groups for lukemia and
cancer victims when there's nothing wrong with you until they're
hijacked from you by another faker. Then you meet Tyler Durden, a man
that shows you that not only can you live without material needs but
that self-destruction, the collapse of society and making dynamite from
soap might not be such a bad idea either.

-I am waiting for my Tyler Durden who will jolt me out
of my monotony and help me realise one of my dreams-make a homemade dynamite ;)